Kate Bosworth is pretty skinny for an American and should be given more credit for it, instead of abuse for being an anorexic. This is the kind of thinspiration all you fat fucks need so that you stop eating. Now, I don’t find her all that hot to look at and I never did because she pretty much has no sex appeal, but it’s nicer to look at than the shit I’ve seen sitting by the pool on my trips to the USA.

Now, I don’t travel all that much, or ever for that matter but I got a call on Sunday morning from this 18 year old girl who doesn’t have her driver’s license and who wanted to go to Vermont for the afternoon to shop and she needed a driver. Now, I don’t know why she called me to take her because I barely know her and I could have raped and killed her for all she knew, but since I had nothing better to do, I decided to go for the road trip. I showed up at her house, only to find that I’d be driving her dad’s BMW across the border and got nervous knowing that I am a Mexican with a sketchy past, that I was driving an expensive car despite being unemployed, that I was with an 18 year old girl who was 20 years younger than me and most importantly that I was only driving into Burlington for about 3 hours before turning around and coming back, but went anyway, because we all need adventure in our lives….

For the first hour, I kept telling the girl my concern about the border and that Americans will not like this whole situation and she kept telling me to tell the Border dude we were going to a confirmation or wedding and when I got to the border I felt like I was going to get arrested, I hate authority and I hate being in these situations and I panicked. I pulled up to the wicket window and these tough guy who though he was in the Iraq war and liked his power position and used it to intimidate my already nervous self asked me why I was going to the USA. I told him that I had dinner plans and instead of ending it there, decided to add “with friends” to make it more believable despite the smart side of my brain telling me not to. Now, the terminator found driving to the States to have dinner with friends a little strange, especially coming from a Mexican with an 18 year old in a BMW and as I was beating myself up for saying that I was meeting friends, he decided to ask me what my friend’s names were. I froze. I didn’t have an answer and I just stared at him blankly, while he got more and more aggressive, and started asking me about my job, why the car had damage on it, how much I make a month and then he got out and searched the fuckin’ car, asked me to pull over and brought me inside to search me. They asked me what my site was, there was no way in hell I was telling them that it was DrunkenStepfather because I feel like some of the shit I do on here is illegal and ended up spending 2 hours at the border before they agreed to let me in after jumpin through all the hoops and leading them to believe that I am not a drug dealer or terrorist, which I am not.

I guess the point of this story is really that there is no point, but once in Burlington, I walked into a store that was selling 12 packs of M&Ms for $2 and all kinds of other disgusting junk food that would make my wife cum more than I ever have, which in all honesty isn’t that hard because I was never one for worrying about making my woman cum and more into making myself cum. I also saw some fat bitches who made my wife look skinny sitting by an above ground pool at some trailer park campground and I felt like I was in heaven, a miserable heaven but heaven nonetheless.

Either way, here’s Bosworth in her bikini….

UPDATE - I forgot to mention that there was chicken breast, a bottle of wine and a box of sex toys in the car to make the whole border experience even more awkward than me hearing myself tell the border guard that I was meeting up with friends like an idiot. Not that you care, but since this is a blog I want to make sure I keep my diary in order so that when I look back on it in 20 years, to remind myself why I should never be a criminal, I’ll have all my facts in order….

Rachel Zoe was recently interviewed for her upcoming Bravo reality show about Perezzers and…

The celebrity stylist had some not so nice things to say about the Gossip Gangstar.

Click here to check out what she had to say!

[Image via WENN.]

The Jonas Brothers were interviewed by the The BIG Ape Morning Mess show in Jacksonville, Florida, on Monday and…

Kevin had some very nice things to say about the Laptop Samurai!

Check it out (below).

[Image via WENN.]

Kevin Jonas of the Jonas Brothers is ushered into his NYC hotel by bodyguard Big Rob after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sunday night.

The 20-year-old Jonas Brother showed off his pride for TEAM DEMI AND SELENA. Of course, he’s referring to his current tourmate/fellow Disney sensation Demi Lovato and her BFF Selena Gomez. It’s pretty clear it’s a slight jab to Disney’s reigning tween queen Miley Cyrus and her backup dancer BFF Mandy Jiroux.

BTW, the back of the t-shirt says: “P.S. Buy our new album in stores on August 12th!”

Which team are you on — TEAM DEMI AND SELENA or TEAM MILEY AND MANDY?

Does this look like her????

CLICK HERE to find out what "star" just got animated in the new EA Facebreaker video game!

It's E! star and sex tape actress Kim Kardashian.

Launching in the fall, Tina Brown’s upcoming news website The Daily Beast may fail not because she runs over budget with Barry Diller’s cash, but because her site doesn’t lean to either the right or left, but up. As in upscale. [LAT]

Permalink | post a comment | Add to del.icio.us | Digg
Post tags: The Daily Beast, Tina Brown

If you are in Chicago…

A large public memorial will be held for recently deceased comedian Bernie Mac, this Saturday, August 16th, at the 10,000-seat House of Hope church at 752 E. 114th St. in Chi town.

Donations in Mac's honor may also be sent to
The Bernie Mac Foundation for Sarcoidosis
40 E. 9th St., Suite 601
Chicago, IL 60605.

[Image via WENN.]

Britney Spears wears her brown bikini to erase her potential shit stains from not wiping her ass properly which is the same reason why my wife used to wear red underwear for the week of her period back before she gave up on life and would take the time to use tampons instead of what she does now that pretty much makes anywhere she sits or lays down look like a murder scene. I guess this is Britney’s way of telling the world that she hasn’t fully given up yet and there’s still more of her to give us.

The whole thing reminds me of opening my fridge yesterday out of dire hunger and finding absolutely nothing to eat, because my wife beat me to it, but opened the vegetable crisper out of desperation, only to find 2 rotten cucumbers that had probably been there for 6 months, not quite long enough to be dried up and easy to clean. After gagging at the fuckin’ smell that was worse than any rank pussy I’ve met, I figured if I don’t clean it no one will and leaving it there for another 6 months wasn’t condusive to getting my life together. Now I am not the best cleaner or most coordinated person out there so as I tried dumping it into an old grocery bag, I missed and shit exploed all over the floor, polluting the air with rotten cucumber smell and a brown gel like substance that was once nutritious eats. As I scrubbed the floor like the bitch that I am, all I could think about was that this was probably exatly what Britney’s underwear looks like when it isn’t all brown, strategically selected by her stylist to help clean up her dirty little image.

Have a friend that’s done you wrong? Disney is now providing you with an unintentional revenge opportunity: a five a.m. wake-up call from their controversial tween money-machine Miley Cyrus.

The back-to-school site Hannah Montana Calls is a Wall-Mart campaign purportedly for parents trying to woo their kids out of bed in the morning with a semi-personalized phone call from the singer.

But since you can type in any phone number into the website, it has a great potential for misuse. Like sex predators hounding their prey.CONTINUED »

Permalink | post a comment | Add to del.icio.us | Digg
Post tags: Disney, Hannah Montana, Marketing, Miley Cyrus, Tweens

Several groups that advocate for the disabled are calling for a boycott of the new film Tropic Thunder, starring Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Tom Cruise and Robert Downey, Jr.

The groups state that the movie is depicting a negative portrayal of those with "intellectual disabilities."

The flick is directed by Stiller and is set to be released this Wednesday.

There are currently 22 disability groups protesting the movie's satire.

Many of the groups also plan to protest the movie's premier today in Los Angeles.

Peter Wheeler, a spokesman for the Special Olympics, says "We are asking people not to go to the movie and hope to bring a consciousness to people about using derogatory words about this population. That will be the start of a nationwide protest. We will continue to be vocal about the destructive effect of this film."

Wheeler says the groups are particularly offended by the repeated use of the word "retard" in regards to a subplot character that Stiller plays called Simple Jack.

Representatives from several groups such as the Special Olympics, the National Down Syndrome Congress, and the American Association of People with Disabilities met last week with execs from Dreamworks to discuss the film, though no changes were made.

The groups presented various ideas to the studio, such as requesting an apology or fixing the film before its release, in order to produce a national education campaign.

A rep for Dreamworks says, "We have had productive discussions with representatives of disability advocacy organizations and look forward to working with them closely in the future. However no changes or cuts to the film will be made."

Adding that "Tropic Thunder is an R-rated comedy that satirizes Hollywood and its excesses, and makes its point by featuring inappropriate and over-the top characters in ridiculous situations. The film is in no way meant to disparage or harm the image of individuals with disabilities."

Hmmm…

What do U think?