Eight springs ago the Mets and Cubs opened the season, not in Cincinnati. Guess where? Tokyo. That Tokyo, the guys who gave us Pearl Harbor. Some people don't like you to bring that up, trade with Japan is so hot. But I've got a long memory. I saw what a few bombs can do to our property. Not only that, but the Red Sox pitcher is Daisuke Matsuzaka, who didn't grow up in Wampole.

"We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic."

We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album "Chinese Democracy," as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead's performances are on our album, I'll share my Dr Pepper with him. Axl Rose

Yesterday’s New York University panel about celebrity gossip and its players, sponsored by The Atlantic magazine and aptly titled “The Britney Show,” brought together heavyweights like Page Six’s Richard Johnson, Star’s Bonnie Fuller, and X17’s Brandy and François Navarre, who were kind enough to leave their six million dollar Pacific Palisades home to hang in the city.

Johnson shot himself in the foot when he called celebrity blogs “parasites,” accusing them of not “generat[ing] their own news stories,” which is amusing since Page Six wouldn’t get through the day without lifting items from many of these bottom-feeding blogs, and the brand’s own effort at competing with them failed after just three months.

And the always quotable Brandy Navarre, who is building a cache of Miley Cyrus photos in the hopes she becomes the next trainwreck poptart, admits her agency is “trying to get the shots before they go into rehab.”

And that’s when her God complex shines through: “Mr. Navarre suggested that a pack of paparazzi may have been able to prevent John Lennon’s murder in 1980; Ms. Navarre said photos of partying starlets have sometimes spurred their families to get professional help,” reports AdAge.

And the little matter of X17’s own photogs allegedly brutally assaulting individuals to within an inch of their life? Well, so long as they’re not celebrities, preventing their murders isn’t really the Navarres’ concern.

Some Girl/Blake Baby/Stereogum fave Juliana Hatfield gave Alternative Nation some albums that helped with high school, and has been playing the pay-what-you-want download game long before Radiohead championed it. Last year she released Frank Smith's album on her own Ye Olde Records, but now she's busy wrapping up another solo album ... and checking in with her old MTV haunting grounds, where reality TV rules. On MySpace, she's written an inspired diatribe about LC, Heidi, Spencer, and the gang.

You know what would be radical? Subversive? Brave? If LC went a whole day and night of her life without makeup.

Judging by what I see all over the place -- countrywide -- young women seem to want to look like Heidi Montag. (By the way, I hate the fact that I know Heidi Montag's name; that I know who she is; that she takes up any space at all in my consciousness. And the fact that I actually enjoy watching The Hills proves that television -- and cable tv in particular -- has ruined my brain.

The Hills is part of the reason television is ruining our country, she says.

Juliana's discussion about her own shame and embarrassment over selling herself/wanting to seem cool/needing an audience is sort of fascinating, if not new territory for her. Read the whole thing here. Fans will enjoy her discussion of the minutiae of the song "You Are The Camera," which she's streaming for the occasion. As for Lauren and Heidi's cushy "jobs"...

The companies who hired the girls (Teen Vogue and whatever that p.r. company is called) knew they would be getting tons of precious, lucrative exposure and publicity by being regular presences -- characters -- on the tv show, and so that is why they hired the Hills girls.

Well, actually, Juliana -- Heidi doesn't work at Bolthouse. That part's totally fake. Also made up? This scene from Monday's episode in which Whitney calls a designer to (lie and) say that she and Lauren "discovered" a stain on a dress Lauren stained herself. Listen to the fake audio that's blatantly been inserted during post-production...

Juliana Hatfield's new album How To Walk Away, produced by Ivy's Andy Chase, is out 6/10 on Ye Olde. Guess we shouldn't expect a low budg beachside video.

MOTORMOUTH DJ CHRIS EVANS has told how he took magic mushrooms - and thought he was riding on a giant CRAB. The boozy Radio 2 presenter bragged on his BBC blog about using the Class A drug - and yesterday police said they could investigate. Party-loving Evans, 41, experienced the bizarre "trip" during a gig at London's Albert Hall. Recalling how he shot live footage on his phone, he said: "It was a Meat Loaf concert, two days before which I'd had rather more magic mushrooms than maybe I should have. "I thought I was chronicling the Albert Hall moving sideways on the back of a giant rock and roll crab - something I didn't think the world should miss."