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Best Week Ever
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
When this week began, we were secure in our knowledge that David Archuleta would shoot to stardom, Britney would never rely on a cartoon to make her thin, and the Governor of New York was an upstanding, non-prostitute-visiting public servant. Find out how it all went south on an all new episode of BWE tonight at 9 and 11! Meanwhile, this week on the Information Cul-de-sac:
 - Michelle attends the prestigious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony and quickly learns that Rock isn't just about unconfortably awkward induction speeches -- it also involves giving free gifts to Chevy Chase.
- Meanwhile, at a less Suit-controlled celebration, Alex out-indies the entire indie field at the Plug Awards.
- But when it comes to having a true working knowledge of music and culture and general, look no further than me in Ninth Grade.
- Popular Music Historian / D*ck Drawer Perez Hilton takes a shot at those pathetic, washed-up retreads, Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails.
- Can we all agree to stop raping the Beatles catalogue? Please? "Idol," you want to start by setting an example?
- In non-music news, a Slutty Firetruck, a Singing Orphan, Max Headroom, and Payin' 4 Vag all pop in for cameos in this week's wave of Celebrity Math.
- Alex rips open the Glad Bag of deception that is the "Top Chef" hairstyle scandal with a list of the Top 10 Faux-Hawks In "Top Chef" History.
- Learn how to turn your forgettable celebrity-packed CGI movie into a comedy masterpiece with just five easy casting changes!
- And finally, who says Myspace is a wasteland these days? MISS KNOCKOUT don't think so LOL.
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
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Whether you're going down on Mo'Nique, knocking McLovin' out cold, or suffering from crippling, alcoholic depression, who doesn't love to toss a few back on good ol' St. Patty's Day? On tap this week, Michael Cyril Creighton's got his five favorite movie drinking moments! Tap -- get it? Because when you drink, you tend to tap dance?
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
 Leave it to those wacky Eastern Europeans to put together what might just be the most complicated thing ever organized by bored supermarket employees... and it's called Supermarket Dominos. Yes, 6 minutes, of all of your favorite Unilever boxed products and such lined up in various twisting patterns throughout the aisles of one abandoned supermarket, falling in succession with a satisfying lack of glee common in that part of the world. It's sort of like when communism fell... only more preserved. Think about it, hmm...
Where was I? Ah yes! SUPERMARKET DOMINOS. It's increds. Watch it and be all "Clean up in aisles 1 through 22." BONUS: If anyone can please tell me what product comes in a big black box with a yellow bear face on it, I'd thank you kindly.
Clicky Rooney...
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
Geezzz... we ripped on Nicky Hilton earlier in the week, and that was before she had that leg-bone lipo:
(INF Daily) |
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
 Most car commercials feature some jerk-off in khakis driving his family luxury sedan over some hilly highway with curves and clouds and balloons or whatever while a soft-rock acoustic ballad plays gently in the background. Personally, I'd much rather have a ride that's gonna get dropped off by an 18-wheeler on a treacherous, oil-slicked freeway of death, just like that awesome old-school Nintendo game Spy Hunter. Pontiac seems to understand this.
See one of the awesomest car commercials ever, after the jump.
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
 Today is a very special day for Hollywood Legend Michael Caine, as exactly 75 years ago, on March 14, 1933, mini-Caine was born under the name Maurice Micklewhite. And over the next 75 years, mini-Caine would grow up to be an English icon, starring in such films as Alfie, Get Carter, Hannah and Her Sisters, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (the best!), Get Carter (again), Children of Men, and, strangely, Jaws: The Revenge (as Hoagie Newcombe) among others. His uniquely charismatic face and undeniable sense of humor (he recently stated that the secret to a good relationship is "having separate bathrooms") have earned him a career that few other actors have known: One with staying power and lasting effects.
So how does one honor such an icon? Why, compiling a list of his greatest faces, of course! You'll note that we're very much partial to his Caine-In-Glasses era, as he's just too dapper for words. So enjoy this pictorial, and Michael Caine, if you're reading this: Congrats on being 75 and the best!
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The photos get even more British after the cut.
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(We had to throw him a modern day bone, ya know?)
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
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From SUPER DELUXE -- Every classic movie must have at least 5 sequels. This Leprechaun trailer looks pretty solid, right in time for the holiday. You should probably check this out, after the jump!
Leprechaun 12: Suburban Sprawl
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
 An unofficial transcript of Minnie Driver's pregnancy-confirming appearance on The Tonight Show last night:
Minnie Driver: So my new movie is called Good Will Hunting on Blu-Ray--
Jay Leno: Sorry, I couldn't help but notice... is your stomach looking a little big?
Minnie: Oh, wow. I.... I didn't expect this to happen. I knew I should've worn that trench coat.
Jay: I don't want to put you on the spot here, but... are you pregnant?
Minnie: **SIGH** I really wasn't planning on talking about this. I thought we agreed when we went over the topics in the green room that we would keep this conversation strictly to my resurgent film career.
Jay: I'm sorry, it just...slipped out.
Minnie: Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now, so yes, large national audience on a program which politicians utilize to make major announcements, if you really have to know, I am, in fact, with child.
Jay: I'm sorry to blindside you like that, and the last thing I want is for this interview to turn into profile-boosting tabloid fodder, but I suppose I have to ask -- who is the father?
Minnie: I am not disclosing that information. I don't want to draw undue media attention to that person, it simply wouldn't be fair. I mean, I'll come on this highly-rated late night talk show to reveal the pregnancy, but it simply wouldn't be fair to just throw the father in the spotlight. It will remain a mystery -- good luck finding it out, gossip pages. Not that I want you to. I'll bet you're already speculating about who it could be, aren't you? Is it Josh Brolin? I don't know. I'll bet you'll be talking about this for weeks, won't you? Which is bad, I mean. Do you need a hint? Psych nawwww.
Jay: We'll baby right back.
Minnie: I thought we agreed you'd say that line before the second break?
[BAND PLAYS, COMMERCIAL]
(pic via Hollyscoop) |
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
 When a person spends 10 years making their living by burning themselves with branding irons, peeing on red carpets and letting people kick them in the nuts, one has to wonder whether there's any amount of public degradation they're unable to withstand. If #1 Jackass Steve-O even has such a rock bottom, he HAS TO have finally hit it this week, during which he's been charged with cocaine possession, taken to a mental hospital, and put on suicide watch. His response to these myriad misfortunes? The utterly insane (and disturbing) Not Safe For Life video below, in which Steve, clearly geeked out of his mind (with white powder smeared all over his nostril), rambles maniacally and offers an impromptu juggling lesson.
See it (if you really want to) after the jump.
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Friday, 14 March 2008 |
Every now and again, we get so bogged down with all the gossip bullsh happening here in the States that we forget, for a moment, that there are other, way more hilarious things happening across the globe. As is the case with the following item, where Page Six tells us the story of Italy's most famous Nicolas Cage Impersonator, a man named Paolo Calabresi, who used his hangdog face to get a front row seat at a high profile soccer match:
IF you want to be treated like a movie star, it helps to look like one. That's what Italian TV personality Paolo Calabresi, a Nicolas Cage lookalike, discovered by posing as the actor at the Real Madrid-AS Roma game last week in Madrid. Sports Illustrated reports the Cage impersonator "was treated like a star" by team owners, who gave him a special jersey. Calabresi, who spoke English with a thick Italian accent, told the newspaper Marca that he "was a little scared they would find me out but that, from the first moment, everyone was friendly."
We're not sure what is more disturbing: That this guy looks like both Nicolas Cage AND John Turturro, or that the Real Madrid soccer team would lose their stool over an actor who himself spends his days as Vampire Elvis.
Either way... WIN WIN! Two Cages are better than No Cages At All. And Two Cages where one Cage can also teach you something about wine is really the best situation one could find themselves in. |
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