The Other Boleyn Girl (Justin Chadwick, 2008)

If sisters Anne and Mary Boleyn had been fortunate enough to live in modern times, their meddling father might have turned to Patti Stanger from Bravo's “Millionaire Matchmaker” to set them up with suitable husbands. But it was the 1500s, and daddy conspired with his depraved brother-in-law to siphon the girls off to Henry VIII in a move that forever changed the course of English history.

Still, getting Medieval on the soap opera trope makes for something decent in The Other Boleyn Girl. Directed by Justin Chadwick, known for mainly small screen projects, the film is an engaging take on 16th century deceit, ambition, and (gasp) incest. Fans of the Showtime’s “The Tudors” need only trade Jonathan Rhys-Meyers for Eric Bana to get the picture.

From the lavish costumes and sprawling landscapes, the details are right for a period piece. But a few off-kilter camera angles and poor editing choices nearly pull us away from the weighty story, and Chadwick's decision to frame scenes from behind wrought-iron gates or out-of-focus crowds is questionable.

Tensions mount in Boleyn when Anne (Natalie Portman) wins Henry's favor just after her sister Mary (Scarlett Johansson) gives birth to his son, the boy his own Queen could not deliver. Portman's character is driven to the brink of desperation, and she's fully committed to every second of it. And, as expected, heads roll. Just be ready to take on two intense hours of BBC-worthy accents, galloping steeds and tightly-cinched corsets before any blood spills. — Ava Dial

It took a few years, but my dream of one day finding a map that locates all of Ludacris' hoes by area code has finally been realized

According to the cartographer's analysis, "Ludacris has hoes in the Midway and Wake Islands. Only scientists are allowed to inhabit the Midway Islands, and only military personnel may inhabit the Wake Islands. Draw your own conclusion."

Well, a man doesn't kiss and tell. But suffice it to say that it was one unforgettable etymological study/naval maneuver.

Check it out--it's story time for Scarlett O'Hara and her best drag queens. Just joshing, it's Kim Kardashian and her sisters, Khourtney and Khloe, posing for OK! magazine to promote the premiere of the new season of the reality show on E!, "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," which aired last night at 9PM. Surely you've heard of it--we have ads for it all over the site because, in case you hadn't noticed, rents gotta get paid somehow. It's not so much that Mama needs a new pair of shoes as much as a place to sleep.

In their interview with OK! they dished about how they're going to start a clothing line (naturally), Khloe doesn't have a boyfriend, and Kim's going to try go into acting. Hmm, I do think that Kim's pretty and all, but from the look of these pictures, she better stick to playing characters that are mildly sexually aroused/moderately happy at all times because I'm guessing that's the limit of her emotional range.