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Best Week Ever
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
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Remember the old days when you could tell it was May Sweeps because your favorite shows featured heavily-touted lesbian stunt kisses? Well, this week we swelled with pride when we realized that the spectacle of girl-girl frenching is as dead as Marissa Cooper. It's true. We, as a viewing public, have become a lot more sophisticated and will no longer stand for such sensational spectacles. Now, please enjoy a brief montage of our favorite Sweeps Week moments!
Don't forget -- new episode tonight at 9 PM and 11 PM! |
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
Move over, meat-infused pancakes, because this may be the most sinisterly delicious-looking breakfast sandwich I've ever seen:
And before you say "I've had a burger with an egg on it," let me ask you this -- did that burger also come served on top of hash browns??? For $5.95, including a free coffee???
All other breakfast sandwiches, as Homer Simpson might say, are a load of rich, creamery butter.
After the jump, a burger close-up that basically qualifies as food porn:
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
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Clearly, not watching One Life To Live on a daily basis is an unforgivable mistake. We tuned in yesterday to catch Snoop Dogg's appearance, only to find the presence of an altogether more fascinating character: A male stripper named Rex, who is almost definitely a meth head. Where's Ken Seeley and Candy Finnegan when you need 'em?
We've given you the best of both worlds in this clip: Methy hot stripper rere, and Snoop himself, wearing a ring that can conveniently double as a serving dish. Man, are they smooth.
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
- This is your 2008 Playmate of the Year. There is truly something magical about dresses that can not only be worn on Barbie dolls, but vaguely resembles the packaging of my favorite flavor of Bubblicious gum.
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- When someone asks what you like in a pet. You respond, something like the obvious best. And that is Princess Snowflake.
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See the rest of today's pics, after the jump!
- This image from WALL-E demonstrates the movie is part Short Circuit and part E.T.. I think I have ants in my pants just thinking about it.
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- A little birdy slipped that Kitson is going to start carrying flowing dresses similar to the ones here, on these Afghan refugees. Now that is Hollywood rock.
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- Something is just so terrifying about this photo of Tilda Swinton and these poor little boys. I'm fairly certain she devours them later on...
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- There is something about monkeys that always make me laugh. The fact that this monkey is made out of paper, makes it all the more better.
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
Phylicia "Roo-Dee" Rashad has received the ultimate honor in the New York theater world for her role in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, getting her very own caricature on the wall of the legendary restaurant Sardi's. And would you blame her for hiding behind it? That portrait artist shaved off at least 20 years from Rashad's visage! She hasn't looked that good since the opening credits for the second season of The Cosby Show.
Terrence Howard's drawing, however = Dead on. It's like the shmeared smarm on a tablet, covered it in wet wipes, and called it a day.
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
 When it links you to Dan's Office-related post from earlier. That's right, we're limiting this blog to one Office post per day. For those of you who want to get all "murdery" on me, feel free to head over to Office Tally. It's an entire blog dedicated to Office-y things! Addiction = satisfied, no?
On the bright side, here is an oddly topical Pancake GIF!! (which, I've been told, is from Scrubs.)
I never knew how much you guys loved pancakes! Hopefully the fact that it's Zach Braff behind that face batterflap doesn't make it any less terrifying. See you at brunch on Sundie!
Also, it's raining and cold outside. I just want some cocoa and a cashmere onesie.
All my adoration,
Michelle.
ps The taunting pancake face is making it worse, isn't it? Dammit.
UPDATE: Just want to add one thing, that I love the actor who played the golfer Jim was trying to seduce with paper deals. Phil Reeves, best know for playing the straight-laced princiPAL in Election Walt Hendricks. Guessed on the voice alone. |
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
This is a recap of Lost episode "Cabin Fever," season 4 episode 11, originally airing May 8, 2008. If you haven't seen it yet, don't read this crap. Also, the main character on "Battlestar" dies tonight.
LOCKE AND BEN ARE TWO PEAS IN A POD INSIDE A CRAZY DESTINY POTATO
 "It's your time now," are the words from an uncharacteristically beaten-down Ben to Locke as they stand before Jacob's cabin, symbolically passing the torch of being "chosen" to his bald successor, who, as Ben points out, "got better" (first walking, then surviving a gunshot to the chest) while Ben battled a spinal tumor then watched his daughter get executed. Has Ben's "chosen" time finally expired, with the island desiring to hand over the reigns to Locke? Or was Ben never truly chosen and merely filling the role until Locke arrived, fighting off the island's resistance (tumor, loveless Juliet debacle, etc.) in the process?
We know that Locke and Ben were both born to someone named Emily, with Locke being born about five years before Ben according to EW's carbon-dating, and even though Ben's mother died shortly after his birth, it's not entirely implausible that Locke and Ben are (half) brothers. I prefer to believe (if only to skirt the ol' brothers cliche) that the "Emily" connection merely underscores the from-the-getgo relationship between Locke's and Ben's fates, just as Locke's multiple opportunities to end up on a course to the island (via unaging Richard's "special school" or the guidance counselor's "Super Secret Special Science Program On A Magical Island Whoops Didn't Mean To Say Magic Island Forget We Said That") synching up with Ben's father's Dharma Initiative relocation to the island. Locke squanders multiple chances to get to the island amidst encouragement from multiple sources; Ben, meanwhile, gets dragged there by his deadbeat, "workman" father. Clearly, whichever entity is operating the island has preferred Locke's presence from the beginning.
TONS OF GHOSTS, STILL NO "UNCHAINED MELODY"
 On this week's installment of "What The F*ck's Gonna Be In The Cabin This Time?" our guests are Jack and Claire's deceased father Christian, who tells Locke he can "speak on Jacob's behalf," and a new member of the Cryptic Club, Claire herself, who is "with Christian." Last week, rumblings began that Claire actually died in the house explosion, even though Sawyer and (ghost-whisperer) Miles continued to see her and she continued to carry her baby, but Claire's appearance and shady-as-hell-by-association with Christian raises a teleporting cabin full o' questions.
What is the significance of all these ghosts? Locke saw a deceased Dharma employee in a dream, and now can see Claire and Christian? Claire first saw Christian last week while apparently still in physical reality, unless Sawyer and Miles were able to see her as a ghost; perhaps the island has some form of partial, in-between death, of which (shot in the chest) Locke and (in house when it frickin' exploded) Claire are taking part, though they're still visible and still capable of corporal action because they haven't yet fulfilled their purpose, like, say, Charlie has (even though Charlie's ghost appears in the future too)?
Recall also that Michael's gun jammed when he tried to shoot himself back on the mainland, then Sgt. Jeter's gun jammed when he tried to execute Michael on the boat last night. On a show that continues to bring up "destiny" more often than Morpheus after he just finished reading The Aeneid, it's very easy to expect that these islanders each have a very specific time when they're allowed to die, and any deviation results in either physical impossibilities, such as Michael, Locke and Claire all "surviving," if, possibly, as something less than complete physical entities.
MEANWHILE, ON THE BOAT... OF DEATH!!!
 Keamy slits the throat of the doctor to persuade Frank to fly him and his men back to the island for an auxiliary mission that apparently involves blowing everything up, likely with the Predator bombs that he now has strapped to himself. He then shoots the suddenly amiable captain shortly after the captain had helped Sayid steal the motorboat and head towards the island, leaving Desmond and Michael on the now largely unoccupied freighter.
My question is, why wouldn't Frank just crash the helicopter on the island and kill everyone in it? I guess it takes an awfully valiant person to trade their life for a vague cause, but surely, Frank has the opportunity to forge a legacy beyond unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts and "The Lawnmower Man." Will he seize it?
My friends and I also debated the bag that dropped from the helicopter -- was that Frank trying to warn Jack's group, or a trap from Keany to get Jack to follow them to where the helicopter eventually lands? I have a hard time believing Frank secretly slipped a bag out the door without any of the soldiers in the tiny helicopter noticing. Maybe the phone will just explode next week and turn Jack into a crazy in-between ghost too and make Juliet think "I wonder if these people really are here to rescue us? I wish we had some more evidence either way..."
OTHER THOUGHTS, DETAILS, AND MINOR-LEAGUE TRANSACTIONS
 -- Loved the part where Locke convinced Hurley to stay with him and Ben on his own accord, prompting Ben to concede, "Not bad." The "Locke is the new Ben" trend is more or less complete at this point; expect persistent blood on his face for the next fifteen episodes.
-- Whoa, where's Daniels from The Wire been the last like nine weeks? He turned up again as an orderly in Locke's rehabilitation wing, advising a wheelchair-bound Locke to go for a "walkabout" and find out who he really is, saying that when they meet again, he'll thank him. More encouragement from the island trying to pull Locke towards his destiny? Or was he just making a "walking" crack at Locke?
-- The scene with Richard and Kid Locke is an early contender for Cryptic-est moment of '08. I can't even begin to wrap my head around it and I don't feel like typing the details, so if you want, just read this. I also don't really have a joke. Um... "Alpert doesn't age? More like, Alpert doesn't make any damn sense, am I right people???" Let's move on.
-- Not much indication in the "Next Week" teaser about who gets the next flashbacks. What do people think? I'm saying in the last three episodes, we'll get Sawyer (been a while), Claire (cause, seriously, come on), then a crazy group non-flashback in the finale that breaks the form again and leaves us excited and pissed off on alternating days during the 37-month layoff.
Your turn, Losties. Thoughts, theories, observations, predictions, convictions, evictions -- leave 'em in the comments, we're comin' down the home stretch. |
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
The best part about the latest installment of Nicole Richie's baby-picture-pimp-out (gardening, guitar-strumming - they're like the ex-junkie tabloid trainwreck version of the Cleavers!) is the discovery that Lionel Richie actually wears shirts bearing the name of his smash-hit classic "Hello", just like in my imagination.
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Friday, 09 May 2008 |
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Last week, American Idol said goodbye to perhaps their sweetest and humblest contestant yet, the adorable Brooke White. Brooke's downfall, it seemed, was a tendency to forget the lyrics to her chosen song while on the big stage, and it eventually caught up with her. America voted, and Brooke was out.
But no need to worry about Ms. White's future! Because she's already released a new album! Best Week Ever has gotten an exclusive peek at the following commercial for her latest effort, entitled Brooke White Starts And Stops The Classics. Check it out!
And don't forget to check out the commercial's debut on the brand new episode of Best Week Ever, airing tonight at 9 PM, 11 PM, and all weekend long! |
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