HealthDay News, in perhaps the most shocking scientific revelation this side of the discovery of fire, conducted a comprehensive study about college drinking and came to this thunderboltlike conclusion: College Drinking Games Lead to Higher Blood Alcohol Levels. Now, before we go ahead and say that there's definitely a link between people playing games that require them to drink alcohol and people drinking alcohol, let's take a quick look at some of the glaring flaws in Captain ConclusionJumper's so-called "scientific thingiemedoo": The team noted party environment, surveyed attendees and collected blood-alcohol concentrations. Problem #1 - If the kids are willingly participating in this survey, and are fully aware that they're going to be blood tested to see how drunk they are, of course they're gonna go out of their way to drink more in order to impress the researchers. Also, it kind of hurts your alibi if you try to claim you were blackout hammered when you sent that chick seven winky text messages at 6 am and some researcher immediately responds "actually, you only had a .002 BAC at that time and thus were fully conscious of your actions." The researchers expressed surprise over the finding that women at themed events drank more heavily than their male peers. Problem #2 - They never say what the 'themed' parties are. If you're talking pimps and ho's parties, of course any female choosing to attend is likely to be a huge binge drinker. If we're talking about formal themed holiday parties, that won't be the case. But if we're talking about "white shirt" parties, where women are encouraged to show up wearing white tank tops and everyone sprays their boobs with water guns, then it's going to horribly skew the results, because the only people in attendance will be the three male roommates and the freshman guys to whom they've promised alcohol. Students who attended parties with the intention of socializing and people who attended larger parties drank less alcohol. Problem #3 - What exactly is their definition of "socializing"? Do they mean, calmly discussing metaphysics and exchanging business cards, and not sweatily making out with a girl cause you both read The Culture of Fear then happily shouting along to a Shakira song you ordinarily hate? Because my "socializing / alcohol consumption" Venn Diagram is pretty much a god damned circle. The researchers found that playing drinking games, having a personal history of binge drinking, attending a party with many other intoxicated people, and attending a themed event all predicted higher blood alcohol levels. Problem #4 - Sure, the study concludes that playing drinking games and being a binge drinker leads to higher blood alcohol levels, but what about doing keg stands? What about injecting alcohol into your heart? What about swimming in a giant vat of beer while drinking out of one of those double beer can helmets and taking a beer bong anally? Until the study produces answers to these other pressing questions, I'm really not sure we can draw any conclusions about literally drinking alcohol resulting in higher alcohol levels. Just trying to be objective here.

Read more at: http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/01/07/scientific-study-attempts-to-link-college-party-drinking-games-drinking/.