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The CAPTION THIS Contest For December 3rd!!!


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Posh Knows Her Place

While the other Spice Girls were given solos to sing during their reunion show, Posh performed some random catwalk-pose-thing. Male dancers dressed like paparazzi and Posh strutted her shit to a remix of Madonna's Like a Virgin and RuPaul's Supermodel while holding a cell phone. I've seen church fashion shows that are more entertaining. At least this bitch knows her character and plays it up.

I can't wait until that chick trips, because you know it's going to happen at least once on the tour.

Click here if you're having trouble with the video

Silver Dollar Heather

The News of the World has a new picture from Heather Mills' porn past. This one shows Heather proudly showing off her huge, pancake nipples. Click here to see it. Heather recently said she took "glamour pictures" and not "porn pictures." Um...there's nothing glamorous about seeing Heather spread her coochie.

While Heather lies about about that shit, Paul McCartney is continuing to date Rosanna Arquette. Rosanna's sister, Alexis Arquette, said the two are bonding over music and spending more time together. She told People "[Rosanna] interviewed him for a documentary that she did on Rock and Roll. She's been a big fan of his music for a long time, and I know that they befriended each other several years ago. "

A source said that Heather doesn't like that Paul's dating Rosanna and is planning her own romance soon. I know how Heather can get her revenge! Date Alexis!

Blowjobs Can't Save You, Jessica

"American Idol" loser and upcoming "Celebrity Rehab" star, Jessica Sierra, was arrested in a Florida club for disorderly intoxication and battery over the weekend. The judge denied her bond.

The MJ Morning Show dug up the police report which states Jessica Sierra was quite entertaining. During her arrest she screamed a few slurs at the cops and kicked one. She told one female cop, "You fucking bitch, I'll kick your ass. I'll fuck you up, you whore."

In the patrol car, Jessica threw up all over the backseat. She begged the cops to let her go and told them it would ruin her life. She told one of the cops, "Please don't take me to jail, I'll suck your dick if you don't take me to jail." When he declined, she called him "the n-word" over and over again. When they arrived at the station she continued to barf and scream racial slurs.

Yes, because I'm sure the cop would love a load of vomit all over his dick. Hey, some might. Wait, is that how she made it on American Idol in the first place? Cut to Simon Cowell with a very guilty look on his face.

Source: The Smoking Gun and TMZ

STFU Katherine Heigl!

Katherine Heigl told "Vanity Fair" that her movie "Knocked Up" is a little sexist.

She said, ?It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys. It was hard for me to love the movie."

No sweetie, you're just a humorless, uptight shrew. Katherine might not have loved the movie, but I'm pretty sure she loved the fact that Knocked Up jacked her asking price per movie to $6 million. She made $300,000 for Knocked Up.

Homegirl should learn to keep her annoying yapper shut and not bite the hand that feets. If the movie was so sexist she shouldn't have made it or done press for it.

Source: UsWeekly

OUCH.

After seeing these picturs of Joan Van Ark at a reading of "Love Letters" last night in Los Angeles, I immediately want to take my face out to a romantic, candelit dinner at Black Angus. I want to wine and dine my face and then spend the rest of the evening cuddling with it. I want to tell it that I will never hurt it the way Joan has hurt hers. My face deserves that after seeing what Joan has done to hers.

Wenn

Chewbacca Will Not Be Pleased

How many poor animals gave their lives up to be worn by a horsey? That thing looks like it was made using Chewbacca pubes. Here's SJP at a screening of "Revolver" last night in NYC. Splash
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Britney's Gifts

What did Brit Brit get for her Barfday? Unfortunately, it doesn't look like anybody gave her a 6-month stay at the local crazy house. MSNBC reports she was given $30,000 in leather and fur coats, $10,000 worth of diamonds and $4,000 worth of sunglasses. I'm sure that crap is covered in vomit and dog shit by now.

This was at the gifting suite at the event she crashed on Saturday night. BS partied at Sharon Stone's event before heading to her favorite place in the world, The Four Seasons Hotel with Paris Hilton, Sam Lutfi and Alli Sims. That party sounds about as much fun as a colonic.

In other BS news! She apparently turned down a Rolling Stone cover after they would not guarantee that she would be on RS and not UsWeekly. She's taken her offer to Blender Magazine instead reports Page Six.

Blender's probably paying her in Frapps.

Everybody else can leave, Aretha Franklin is here to save the day. I just have one question? Do her chi-chis have their own zip code? If they do, what is it, because I'd like to visit. Here's Aretha at the Kennedy Center Honors event last night in DC. Looking hot. No, she's literally looking hot. Someone give her a fan or something.
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Good From Far, Far From Good

Madonna and Guy Ritchie attended a screening of his movie "*Revolver*" at the Tribeca Grand Hotel in NYC tonight. The movie was shot ages ago and is supposed to be a piece of crap. Anyway, Madonna looks lovely from afar. She's just a tiny thing with a bobble head. Up close I feel like I'm looking into Medusa's eyes. Way too severe. I've seen her look worse.
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