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Dlisted
Celine Dion Is A Baby
 
Celine Dion accepted an invitation from the mayor of Halifax to perform in their fair hamlet in 2008. Celine agreed, but then pulled out claiming she doesn't want to perform in a city that gives her bad press after a few journalists wrote some negative articles on her.
 
Celine's pepaw husband and manager said, "If we're not welcome in Halifax, we won't go. If it sparks controversy there, if it's a problem, we won't go!"
 
Other sources say Celine cancelled, because the venue wasn't good enough for her. She wanted fireworks and flying pianos and shit.
 
Celine needs to get a new manager, because that pepaw is talking crazy in his old age. Celine runs away because of a little name calling, but what about the fans that made her the richest horsie in the world?! 
 
 
 
 
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Hetero, My Ass
 
InTouch hired a private investigator named Paul Barresi to find out if Tom Cruise is gay or straight. Paul's final findings are that Tom Cruise is straight as straight can be. Uh huh.
 
Paul said, "Everything I've found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual."
 
The Scientology goons got to him, right? Yeah, they can be pretty scary. Now Paul needs to use his investigative skills to find out if Tommy Girl is of this planet.
 
Wait...is this the same P.I. Britney hired to follow KFed? It would make so much sense.
 
And on that note, I'm out of this bitch! I've got a plane to catch, but I'll be posting tomorrow. Posting will be light through the weekend, but I'll still be posting. Probably half drunk, but you haven't noticed before....or have you? If my plane should crash tell Britney to "eat it, snort it, lick it, fuck it" for me. 
 
 
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I Want One
 
Sean Kingston wore this Crayola bling necklace on the "Today" show in NYC today. I don't know whether to love or hate it. I love shiny things since I'm gay, but it has every shade of stupid written all over it.
 
Image: Splash
 
 
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When We Last Left Our Fighting Lesbians.....


Last time we left our fighting lesbians on "A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila," Vanessa had stormed off and Brandy had told Tila she was leaving. Well, this week Brandy did leave and Tila didn't like it. Bitch broke into some weird crying-yelling-annoying type thing. No wonder Brandy took her trash ass out of the game. Tila's bitch screech drove her away.

Ugh and why do they keep saying they "love" each other. No sweetie, you love Jack Daniels, because that's what's got you using the "l-word" to just about anyone. Needless to say, Brandy came back later asking Tila for a second chance. Tila denied her. Cold.

Oh and Dani is still the finest heshe ever.

Click here if you're having trouble with the video above

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Heidi Klum Really Likes Her Chi-Chis

TMZ has a little promo Heidi Klum shot for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show that airs on December 5th. In the promo Heidi plays with her breastes like I play with mine. Wait, did I just say that?

I bet you Heidi also plays with Seal's pee pee! You know, she probably uses his urethra like a little mouth and does the voice for his penis. I used to do that when I was little. Ok, I still do it. It's fun! God, don't judge.

Click here if you're having trouble with the video above

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Cum Ball
 
Paris Hilton continued her "This Is What American Whores Look Like" tour in China today. She spent the day eating dumplings pretty much by herself and shopping pretty much by herself too. Hahah, bitch ain't got no friends!
 
I hope they played a prank on her and filled those dumplings with dog shit. She probably wouldn't know the diff.
 
 
 
 
 
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Meet Lil' Bit (No Relation To Bit Bit)
 
This is Lil' Bit from Arizona! Lil' Bit is a tomcat that was born with two faces and possibly two brains. That's two more than I've got! Lil' Bit was born to the cat of an Arizona woman. She did not give him away, because she was afraid the kitten would be put to sleep. Her vet also told her not to expect him to live.
 
7-months later and Lil' Bit is thriving and doing well. He originally had 4 eyes when he was born, but 2 became 1. He also has two mouths and two noses, but only two ears.
 
His owner said, "The amazing thing to watch is that one of Lil'Bit's faces can be asleep while the other one is awake. I have also seen him sneeze out of one side and not the other and blink on one side of his face but not the other."
 
This is one hot pussy. Lil' Bit can tell when you're coming and going!
 
 
Source: Daily Mail
 
 
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Britney Actually Listened!
 
Britney Spears actually listened to The Commish and hired herself a driver. Brit's new driver was spotted driving around her kids last night. In other BS news, she's apparently dating a new dude!
 
Life & Style reports that Brit is dating a waiter/actor named Michael Marchand. She met him while he was waiting tables at Mirabella Restaurant. He was photographed with her last night.
 
A friend said, ?Michael came in a little after midnight, and she came in right after. They were being discreet. Forty-five minutes later, they left the restaurant together. He was charming  he made Britney laugh and looked at her with this secret smile. They left in separate cars.? 
 
The friend of Michael's went on to say, ?He?s very turned on by her.?
 
Nope, it's the fame and cash he's turned on by. Take all that away and all you've got is a frapp drinking butterball turkey who farts a lot.
 
Click here to see the pic of Michael. Put him in oversized clothes, a stupid cap and gold chains and I'd think it was KFed.
 
 
 
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The CAPTION THIS Contest For November 21st!!!
 
Winner will be announced Monday, because it's Thanksgiving!
 
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For Richer Or For Poorer....Wait, Can I Take Back That Rich Part?
 
Donna Campbell is suing her husband, Arnim Ramdass, after he tried to hide his lottery winnings from her. Armin won $10.2 million in the Florida lottery along with his co-workers. Armin tried to hide his new found fortune by keeping the TV turned off and disconnecting the phone. Donna grew suspicious when she found a postcard sent to her husband congratulating him on his "new home." 
 
She googled his name and found out he hit the jackpot along with 16 other airline mechanics, her husband's co-workers. Damn Google! Always ruining the fun.
 
When Donna confronted him, he still denied it. After splitting the money, Armin will take home around $600,000.
 
Her lawyer said, "Here's a guy who for years has spent marital money on the lottery and at casinos, and he's always lost. And now he finally wins, and he's trying to keep it from his wife. That's pretty low.''
 
I don't know how he thought he was going to get away with it! He probably had a calendar counting the days until freedom. Haha sucka! You got found out. Bitch smelled his dick!  
 
Source: Fox News - Image: Splash
 
 
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