I am convinced that the only reason people try to become famous, pick up a guitar, start writing songs or movies, or start acting classes is not because of the passion for the art, or even for the money because there’s really no guarantee things will work out to make you money, but 100 percent for the pussy. It’s like even if you’re some loser rocker who plays local bars, or some shitty actor in local car dealership commercials, or even if you’re a male model for your friend’s clothing shitty t-shirt company, there will be girls willing to bang you because you are seemingly more important that the other dude that’s trying to get their pussy.

That’s why seeing James Blunt with sluts sucking each other’s tits, riding his friends, or simulating doggy style like some kind of private spring break party, doesn’t really come as a surprise, it’s easy fuckin’ pickings for this weird lookin’ clown because he’s a star and even your wife would throw her vagina to get with him because he writes songs strictly to remove panties. So whether these pics are new or not doesn’t really matter, because I am just posting them to remind you where you’ve gone wrong in your life.

I have no idea why I logged into my computer and went to my site and saw all new posts from March 21st. I am trying to figure out what happened and where the last 4 months of posts have gone. I find this kinda shit stressful and it seems like nothing’s ever easy for an internet rockstar no one’s ever heard of…..

May Anderson is a model and she’s wearing a bikini because that’s what models do. They also like to make all chicks feel like shit about themselves because they don’t have A-Cup tits or a size 24 waist. They lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem and both those things work really well for me, without them I would be writing to you as a virgin but instead i am a man dying of Aids.

I met my own kind of supermodel this past weekend. She was tall, emaciated and hungry and sitting on the street corner begging for change. She had a squirrel that she probably saved from getting eating by another homeless man in one of her adventurous nights in the park that she sleeps in, that she obviously domesticated and turned into a pet. The thing was sitting on her fucking shoulder and tied to some kind of rope and it scared the fuck out of me, but not as much as it disgusted me. I wanted a picture but didn’t have a camera.

I did wonder if that girl and her squirrel ever makes it out to tan on the beach, or if the soiled panties I saw sticking out of her jeans were the closest thing she had to a bikini, I guess I’ll never know because it won’t be long before a more ambitious perverted creep sweeps her and her pet squirrel off her feet with promises of a hot meal, shower and bed to sleep on only to leave her raped against a tree 100 miles out of town. I always miss out on great opportunities.

Either way, here’s May Anderson in a bikini.

Here’s rat-faced, bullshit artist, week old kitchen garbage of a person, Audrina Patridge, rockin’ a bikini top under some shitty dress that looks like it was made out of a dead whore’s nightgown or some fat girl’s prom dress. She proves yet again that fake tits don’t make a girl hot. They just just work on horny guys the same way a tranny with huge fake tits works on guys. Shit leads straight dudes into paying for blowjobs just because they have long hair, make up and tits, but the reality is that there’s still no pussy to fuck, it’s pretty fucking gay. That’s not to say she’s a dude, but it is to say that her fake tits, match her fake career, fake life and is just an master of manipulating simple minded horny dudes.

Here is Sienna Miller playing with her married boyfriend. I just thing the funny thing in all this is that his name is Balthazar. That’s some seriously pretentious name that I had to look up because it sounded so fucking blue blooded and obnoxious and it turned out that I was right. This dude is the great grandson of one of the richest men in the USA in his day and his dad is some drug using rich kid who suffered a stroke in ‘81 after having a drug overdose. It’s only natural for a rich kid to take whatever the fuck he wants when it comes his way or when people tell him that he can’t have it, it’s this spoiled brat attitude that proves that despite being married, having a new born kid you can still have the pussy he want. So while his wife is breast feeding their baby, he’s breast feeding himself and all he’s gotta do is cut a child support check once a month to shut her up. I guess that goes for all you married dudes out there too, you can buy your freedom, and play with tits on the back, just let Balthazar and his annoying name show you the way. Sometimes all the world needs is a rich kid to show us how it’s done.

New York coke slut Rosario Dawson seems to have given up on cocaine and taken up eating, because in these pictures her stomach is quickly catching up to her big tits. It’s not really her fault, she’s got Puerto Rican roots and all those Puerta Ricans end up fat and breast feeding their 15 babies. The truth is that I’ve been watching her career since she was 16 because I had a thing for seeing dudes fuck drugged up passed out girls with Aids and Kids was really the only movie at the time that delivered and to get to that part of the movie, I had to fast forward past Rosario Dawson’s underwear pool hopping scene. At least she’s got skinny legs.

I do like the fact that she’s hosing herself down like the hog that she is, but mainly because I have a thing for girls who shower, since my wife doesn’t and even if she tries, she either gets stuck or misses her crucial parts that need cleaning because she can’t reach, like her ass. It’s one of those you like what you don’t have situations.

Speaking of showers, I woke up today and saw that it was raining outside, so decided to take advantage and take a homeless shower, where you basically stand outside and thank god for giving you his natural water supply that is free and try your best to get as wet as possible because if you pull it off proper, you not only clean yourself but the clothes you are wearing, buying you a couple weeks of less stink. I also like to take advantage of peepin’ on the girls who get caught in a homeless shower unintentionally, and end up with wet shirts, hard nipples and make-up running all down their faces like they’ve been crying all day. It brings me joy.

Joy that big tits just don’t bring to me. They just aren’t enough to get excited over a chick in a bikini. I need more. Maybe I’m gay that could be why this post is hard to read and all over the fucking place, but I think that’s got more to do with my laziness to edit this shit.

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Nylon is some piece of shit, too cool for school magazine, that is supposed to be on the pulse of the art, music and fashion scene and pretty much fuels the hipsters, indy rockers and electro DJs i hate by telling them what’s cool and what they should be into for the moment in their quest of trying to be cool.
It’s these pretentious elitist club of rich kids and actors who have no idea what’s up but are trying to live this bullshit fashionista lifestyle because they are empty and I have a feeling that Mischa Barton is probably friends with one of the editors or some shit and agreed to do a photoshoot because she really isn’t doing much more with herself and because it gives her that stamp of approval cuz she thinks being in the Nylon club means that she’s cool.
I think the whole thing is a waste of fucking energy and people should be worried about more important things in life. Trying to stay on top of things so that you come across as cooler than fuckin’ God is totally the opposite of being cool, because as far as I am concerned being cool means not giving a fuck about pretty much anything and naked chicks.
That said, I guess that means that Mischa Barton is halfway cool, so that means she’s on her way to being cool, but doesn’t mean she made the cut. Keep on tryin’, you sloppy fucking whore.

One of my oldest and only readers was this depraved freakshow named HornyLohanWanker who would always beg for pictures of celebrities in red lipstick smoking cigarettes, it was his fetish, so whenever I see a bitch smoking with red lipstick on, I think of him and that’s part of the reason I did these Brittany Murphey pics. The other reason, is because the bitch is bending over and showing off her shitty ass in slutty heels. I guess I am a pervert, because the truth is that I kinda want to hate fuck this bitch, there’s something she said in an interveiw that left a bad taste in my mouth and that was when Ashton Kutcher broke her heart and ran off with a mom and he made a statement about his small penis. Now I am not an Ashton fan, and I am not surprised or offended that he’s got a small dick, I just hate when girls go out and try to make hateful statements about you just because you’re done fuckin’ them and they are hurting on the inside.

It’s like this time I was seeing a chick I worked with and she told all my friends and co-workers that I raped her, sure she wasn’t actually my girlfriend and I kinda stuck my dick in her at the office christmas party after slipping shit in her drink, but I still think what we shared was romance and it really hurt when the boss brought me in and told me to leave and never come back or the company would press criminal charges. Then there was a chick who told everyone that I beat her up, just because I punched her in the face and broke her nose, the last time I check a punch doesn’t count as beating up and she made it sound like I pinned her down and mangled her. I guess it’s also like the time every single girl I’ve banged told their friends how small my dick is, but I never held that against them, because they were just speaking the truth and not trying to drag my name through the mud like this Brittany Murphey cunt.

This Gina Lisa Lohink was on Heidi Klum hosted Germany’s Next Top Model and that’s the reason you have no idea who she is. She didn’t make it through to the finals, but ended up landing some kind of career working on a travel show but I guess the blow to her ego that she lost left her unsatisfied. German’s aren’t good losers, so she took the Paris Hilton school of fame by releasing a sex tape to become a household name.

So somewhere out there, a video of this bitch in PVC sucking off her boyfriend is floating around, I don’t have it, but I do have these nude pics of her. The truth is when I heard a German Next Top Model had a sex tape, I was expecting a little more than PVC wearing blowjobs, that shit is tame. I thought German’s were fucked up militant freaks who consider missionary position when you shove a loaded gun down each other’s throats, cuddling is when you shit on each other’s faces and doggy style meant gas chambering some Jews, Fags and Retards.

I just have a couple of the nude pics, they are good enough for a Friday.

Someone emailed me asking me if the fat Mexican in the background of this fat actress walking her dog picture was me. It isn’t, that isn’t what I look like and despite popular believe not all mexicans look the same, you racist fuck but more importantly, I wouldn’t let any evidence of me and Jennifer Love Hewitt together ever hit the internet because I’d hate to be seen in public with her. Not because I have a secret high profile celebrity relationship that I am trying to keep under wraps, but because she’s too fat to be considered a real celebrity and I have enough fat chicks in my life and swore that I’d never get into that kind of mess again.