I met a real live lesbian yesterday and I lived to tell about it. I partially blame her for making me sick, not because I made out with her or really spent all that much time with her, but because lesbian’s must be dirty from eating all that pussy….and somehow manageed to curse me with her lesbian finger by touching the glass I was drinking out of, in a discreet lesbian way to kill off all penis.

Either way, she was wearing fitness gear because like a good lesbian she was comin’ from the gym where she works as a trainer and where she tries to jack up her testosterone count through weightlifting as well as jack off to all the women she watches change in the locker room and even hi-jack all potential sexually confused pussy to their dark lesbian side, ruining the chances of one day finding her picture on the internet because of an angry exboyfriend and that’s just part of the reason lesbians are the devil.

So I asked this fitness lesbian how many push-ups she could do, she dropped to the floor and did 40 or 50 or ever 100, I really couldn’t tell you, because she was in spandex pants and all i was doing was watching her pants crawl up her lesbian cunt and see the fcking thing quiver like it was being fisted by some other chick and as she struggled with the exercise I stared more and more untile she caught me and called me a fuckin’ pervert….and I tried to convince her that the one thing we have in common is that we both love pussy so if anything she should understand where I am coming from, instead so just said she loves women and that I am the reason for that. I felt good, like I had some real purpose in life.

EIther way, here’s Lohan in a see through shirt, it’s her gift to Sam Ronson on her 31st Lesbian Birthday, unfortunately, the shirt isn’t even that see through to me, but to every other site it is, so I guess I gotta go along with the shit because otherwise I won’t be able to maintain the title of the most credible see through source on the internet, a title that I gave myself.

PS - I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.

Brooke Hogan looks more like she’s on her way to wrestle a bear for a group of Russian soldiers who are already drunk off vodka and in the mood to see a big burly woman’s strength before gang raping her, because when a woman can fight off a bear, she should theoretically be able to fight off 20 men with erections, and if she loses, then she gets dicked, and a lot less like Florida Trailer Park Trash,

I assume she got plastic surgery in hopes of looking more like the girl his dad’s done gone off with, leaving her all alone and scared while feeling undesirable as both her career and family life fall the fuck apart and daddy won’t make her feel nice in her special place like he has done all these years, because he’s found a new Blonde young chick to bang and who is more socially acceptable to bang than bangin his daughter.

It reminds me of a 70’s porn I used to watch to lift my spirits called “Sharon”. It was a story of a girl who was jealous that her dad was fucking her hotter sister, leading her to lose her virginity with a man who picked her up while hitchiking, and her dad to continue to fuck the hotter sister comparing her pussy to her mother’s and other twisted shit that touched on themes of inadequacy and parental approval, incest and sexual disovery that made it almost Academy Award worthy, if only it wasn’t shot on the first ever video camera ever made and if only it wasn’t porn, shit would have had a whole different impact on the world than it has.

I wish I could find a copy of that movie, it was a classic that never got the recognition it deserved, unlike Brooke Hogan, who is pretty much the opposite and for the slow ones out there, that means she’s trash that got more airtime than she ever deserved.

Either way, check out Brooke Hogan’s tits and ball bulge in her white pants on the beach….

PS - I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.

I am sick and just woke up from my nap of death, unfortunately for you, whatever virus is raping me hasn’t killed me yet and I feel obliged to fuckin’ post useless pictures you have probably already seen because I am a creature of fucking habit.

I don’t find Audrina hot at all. Her mangled retard face reminds me of the time this drug addicted bitch, who coincidentally looked a lot like Audrina’s sister with all those stupid fucking tattoos that don’t manage to cover up the fact that she’s fucking ugly, but do distract us from noticing just how fucking ugly she is, kinda the same strategy Audrina uses in working out and getting fake tits,……I forgot where I was going with this….but I do know that Audrina in her retard state doesn’t know where the fuck she is and she’s turning to her sister to help her, like she did as a baby and couldn’t grasp the concept of what a fucking toilet was.

I also know that I would rather be at a pool party staring at hot bodied pussy, than dying on my shitty fucking couch.

I hate FunnyOrDie, but like their mantra, but hate that they don’t enforce it. I hate sending these cocksuckers traffic, even if it is just 12 of you and the only reason I am posting this is because someone I know put it up and it’s some video of Gilbert Gottfried at Bob Saget’s roast that could be exclusive or was yesterday and he’s telling an Olsen Twin getting raped joke. I am sick with a cold and figured you’d wanna hear it if you haven’t already.

I hate FunnyOrDie, but like their mantra, but hate that they don’t enforce it. I hate sending these cocksuckers traffic, even if it is just 12 of you and the only reason I am posting this is because someone I know put it up and it’s some video of Gilbert Gottfried at Bob Saget’s roast that could be exclusive or was yesterday and he’s telling an Olsen Twin getting raped joke. I am sick with a cold and figured you’d wanna hear it if you haven’t already.

I have my own variation of this joke for my stand-up routine that I do in the park for my homies, but I usually like to use props like I was Carrot Top because it makes it more believable and that always seems to get me in trouble with the parents, thety always press charges and can never take a joke.

Either way, watch it.

So everyone’s always freaking out about this bitch Anna Faris because she’s in every sinlge Scary Movie and those are the only movies you watch and understand because you see tits in them. I used to only rent movies based on nudity, like I was some kind of virginal loser, but the reality is that I was bored of porn and was lookin’ for some obscure independent movie with live sex in it. I found a handful and now with the power of the internet you can to.

I don’t get they hype with her, but I do know she’s playing an ex-playboy bunny who gets kicked out for being to old and joins the sorority of losers to turn them all cool. It’s the kind of plot that makes me want to kill myself because it so fuckin’ bad but still managed to get produced.

Either way, here’s the slut in some tame boring fucking pictures for Details magazine, I guess she’s hoping for a legitimate career one of these days, you know wishing that the casting director will see the true artist in the body of work that she’s cataloged and not the body that’s sitting in front of him on the casting couch in a bikini.

Lohan is taking this whole lesbian thing pretty fucking seriously. It won’t be long before she shaves her head and leaves her bangs, gains 80 pounds, wears flannel and rips off dicks for a full time job. I guess the actor in her makes living this lie a lot easier for her because she gets into fuckin’ wardrobe, gets gay married and jumps through the lesbian hoops only a molested fat girl could really understand like it was a fucking movie role.

I am not saying that she’s not bumping vagina with Ronson, I am not saying that they aren’t in love and I am not saying she’s denounced cock because she’s had enough of it to last a normal girls lifetime numerous times over and every single one of those cocks has turned its back on her because no one respects anyone that easy and no one sticks around after they get what they want after the first hour of knowing a person. I am also not saying that FEZ from that 70s show didn’t fuck up her idea of relationships because he was older than her and tricked her into banging him and made her want to marry him before leaving him or that she has trust issues stemming from her cheating drunk father. But I am saying that this lesbian shit is just working for her now, because she’s an unstable, boring, sensitive piece of shit with no sense of humor and this is won’t last forever. It’s just a phase and I’ve seen in time and time again with broken hearted, addict girls who work at the strip club.

In all honesty, I like Sam Ronson a lot. I think she’s fuckin’ cool, down to earth and even kinda talented, but she is in over her head with this Lohan trash. Having to deal with this broken down cunt that we’d all probably like to help breakdown a littel more than it already is, is probably a lot to deal with and no pussy is worth that kind of energy.

Either way, here’s indentity confused Lohan rockin’ her lesbian boots to help both her and the public believe her childish, useless sexuality lie.

I am a fan of Teenage Pregnancy, if I wasn’t I’d be hating on my own mother because she had me when she was 16 and I turned out fine. Sure she was turning tricks in Mexico and I ended up being taken away from her by some Americans when I was 5, but I still have fond memories of her being irresponsible, drunk and contracting the HIV virus all before she turned 20 and if that isn’t considered an accomplishment, I don’t know what is. Everytime I see a teenage girl with her baby it brings back those fond memories of a neglectful mother who was in over her head, living in poverty, being abused and most importantly, sucking off white dudes to pay the rent in front of me.

I am not one of those anti-abortion, right winged, no sex before marriage or god will strike you down and if he doesn’t he’ll make sure you get knocked up and unable to abort because two sins don’t cancel each other out, making you the laughing stock to your peers, pissing off the dude who fucked you without a condom because it felt good and looked down upon by society as a whole as a disgusting pig of a person. I am more in the school of thought that if you get your period you are good to go and if this was 300 years ago, you’d be considered normal. Unfortunately, that excuse doesn’t always hold up in court after getting charged with statutory rape. Rules always ruin a good thing.

Here are some pics of Jamie Lynn and her big ol’ mom titties and big ol’ southern ass with her baby, it’s nice to see how she’s bounced back better than women who wait until they are 30 to breed, because society doesn’t like them following nature’s course and their self absorbed needs to establish a career and have fun get in the way of doin’ what they are supposed to.

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Here are the power couple from The Bachelorette pretending that they aren't contractually obliged to stay with each other because if they were to break up the legitimacy of the staged reality TV show would go down the fuckin' toilet. I've already expressed my opinion on the show and how The Bachelorette is just a slut and fucks multiple men and thinks it's okay because it's on TV and it is not at all realistic at all because if 20 dudes I knew were fucking the same chick and living in the same house, they would probably kill each other. For the most part, dudes generally don't mind fucking their friend's girlfriends when they are horny and drunk, but don't like sharing the bitch they are trying to win over. Maybe bi-sexuality is part of the criteria of getting up on the show and it is just a massive penis heavy orgy and everyone lives happily ever after, but it doesn't matter, because that shit is on TV, teaching our youth to be whores and I am reaping the benefits by appreciating the new generation of whores it helped produce.

Either way I decided to research the dude because I was curious whether he was rich and the car was his or if it was just provided by the network to make the pot more desirable so they don't slip up on the staged love they found.

It turns out he is a pro-snowboarder and by pro snowboarder I mean a dude who managed to join the competitions but hardly makes money off the shit because here are his stats:

2007-2008
? 654th for Half Pipe
2006-2007
? 458th for Half Pipe
? 1016th in Snowboard Cross
2005-2006
? 194th for Half Pipe
? 842nd in Snowboard Cross
2004-2005
? 173rd for Half Pipe
? 949th in Snowboard Cross
2003-2004
? 383rd for Half Pipe
? 615th in Snowboard Cross
2002-2003
? 651st in Snowboard Cross

His professional snowboard career is a fucking joke and he is hardly fucking pro. These stats are insanely horrible and don’t land you a fuckin’ pay check or sponsorship deal unless it’s from your local shop. This is the kind of wishful thinking that makes you pay the pro snowboarding association the annual fees because it helps you pick chicks up at the ski hill you teach at. The retarded kid I saw at the ski hill just north of here on some integration ski trip who was probably snowboarding for the first time and struggling down the bunny hill and falling on his face while masturbating took more skill that this motherfucker is packin’. Even I am a better snowboarder than this and I’ve only done it about 5 times because I live in Canada and for 6 months there’s pretty much nothing else to do and I weigh 300 pounds.

Seeing these staged pics of them washing their car in their bathing suits is a lot less offensive than this asshole calling himself a pro, but it is possible that they aren’t staged because based on DeAnna’s reputation, she never turns down the opportunity to play with a hose, even when it’s not attached to a man. If you know what I mean.

Girlicious is some whore reality TV produced act that is pretty much a subsidiary of Pussy Cat Dolls because the same slut is behind the two projects. They are basically a group of girls with moderate dancing ability, moderate singing ability and moderate lookin’ good in lingerie ability. I don’t know what message this gives the kids who are too retarded to realize that the shit sucks a good moral mentor to a group of youth already being raised by over-sexualization on TV because their parents are too busy at work paying off their credit card debt and no-down payment mortgages.

I stole these off some girl’s facebook, because facebook is a bigger deal than this site and a good way to meet sluts, like the one I had cyber sex with last night. I started off nice and romantic to get her into it and had only made my way to rubbing her pussy over her underwear while sucking her tit, when she was already telling me to do her from behind but not in her ass cuz if I did she’s be mad, it was her “no zone”, even when talking dirty on the internet. That’s when I excused myself and went out to the garden shed, pulled out a shovel and smashed her face in for ruining our love making session to teach her a lesson. After doing that, she stopped answering me and now I am scared I killed her…..with the internet… who really needs real life…..

Either way, here are some pics of them performing at what I assume is the Backstreet Boys concert they are opening in Canada.

This isn’t so much a nipple slip as it is a nipple lookin’ for a baby to feed because it was jacked with maternal hormones before rudely having the baby taken away from it when it prematurely killed itself after realizing who its mother was. Just notice how ready it is eager to feed, long after the little milk it started producing when Lily Allen was pregnant dry up like her murdering womb and her career.

The truth is that Lily Allen is only giving us all the finger because we just witnessed a really personal issue she’s been having with her tit for the last year because it is mad at her for pretty much firing it from its life work and she is embarrassed by its behavior in public. I guess some people have an easier time forgiving people for drinking and smoking and killing off their unborn kid, especially when it wasn’t actually a miscarriage but an abortion because her relationship wasn’t working out.

I guess who really cares. I know I don’t.