This Gina Lisa Lohink was on Heidi Klum hosted Germany’s Next Top Model and that’s the reason you have no idea who she is. She didn’t make it through to the finals, but ended up landing some kind of career working on a travel show but I guess the blow to her ego that she lost left her unsatisfied. German’s aren’t good losers, so she took the Paris Hilton school of fame by releasing a sex tape to become a household name.

So somewhere out there, a video of this bitch in PVC sucking off her boyfriend is floating around, I don’t have it, but I do have these nude pics of her. The truth is when I heard a German Next Top Model had a sex tape, I was expecting a little more than PVC wearing blowjobs, that shit is tame. I thought German’s were fucked up militant freaks who consider missionary position when you shove a loaded gun down each other’s throats, cuddling is when you shit on each other’s faces and doggy style meant gas chambering some Jews, Fags and Retards.

I just have a couple of the nude pics, they are good enough for a Friday.

Someone emailed me asking me if the fat Mexican in the background of this fat actress walking her dog picture was me. It isn’t, that isn’t what I look like and despite popular believe not all mexicans look the same, you racist fuck but more importantly, I wouldn’t let any evidence of me and Jennifer Love Hewitt together ever hit the internet because I’d hate to be seen in public with her. Not because I have a secret high profile celebrity relationship that I am trying to keep under wraps, but because she’s too fat to be considered a real celebrity and I have enough fat chicks in my life and swore that I’d never get into that kind of mess again.

I don’t know what went wrong in Demi Moore’s womb, like maybe she’s got really bad genes or maybe her and Bruce Willis didn’t know they were pregnant for a few months of this bitch’s development and were railing experimental drugs that only celebrities get, or maybe she actually got raped and impregnated by an Alien abduction becuase there’s no evidence saying that’s totally impossible, and if you ask me this is kinda proof that it could happen and that the government slipped up in trying to slide this shit under the carpet so the general public doesn’t freak out, but I do know that she’s fucking ugly.

I don’t know how someone could go through life looking like this, it’s one of those situations where you’d never want to leave the house if this was you, but since she’s a rich kid and probably spoiled to shit, she just doesn’t realize that she’s fucking offensive to look at.

She probably thinks she’s some kind of gift to the world and on the same level as all the other celebrity kids, and looks down at all the commoner and pretty much spits in our face by wearing lowcut dresses like she’s got the right to leave her house and show off her barely there tits, but since I’ve decided to look at the brighter side of life, and not the demons that are her face, I guess she did us a favor by given us something less abusive to look at when she makes an appearance, maybe next time she’ll really pull through and throw a mask on while men jerk off on her naked bodies, because girls this ugly are really on acceptable in fetish porn, cuz hot chicks are too uptight to get experimental. Bitches.

Jennifer Aniston’s nipples are always hard, I remember that shit being the only reason I watched Friends, or thought that she was hot in any way. But today’s hard nipple is different and not a hard nipple of happiness but a hard nipple of desperation. It stems from the news that the love of her life and ex-husband, Brad Pitt, who wouldn’t get her pregnant, has just given birth to not 1 but 2 babies with another woman.

You know that as she cries on the inside, the only baby cries she hears are the ones in her broken reams and her nipple is feeling that pain and it slowly puts itself out there in some kind of hormonal reaction to the news, just hoping there was a baby of its own to feed, but no matter how hard it looks or tries, it won’t find one, becaue there isn’t one.

Here is Vagina About Town, Jordan/ Katie Price, showing off her titty scars. I’d rip into her for hiring a shitty plastic surgeon, but I heard when you mangle your tits beyond recognition by getting tons of operations to make them so unnaturally big, even a cartoonist at Disney can’t get ‘er done without leaving some eraser marks and you know what kind of perverts those Disney people are.

I guess all this is to say that I heard she was downsizing her tits, but shit still looks fucking big and disgusting, maybe I am just saying that because I hate fake tits, or maybe it’s because I am distracted by that aged monster of a face that keeps giving me sex eyes, like my friend’s horny mom used to do to me when I was 13 and I don’t quite no how to deal with it.

I thought that I was the only one who lost interest and moved on from Jailbait Disney immigrant lookin’ pussy after I saw it in nude pictures, but it turned out the rest of the world did too because she’s been pretty much no where to be found.

I heard there’s a High School Musical 3 in the works, so I am guessing the producers are still getting into her, but that’s just beause Ashley Tisdale reminds them too much of their Jew wives, while Miley Cyrus’ ego and success has made her less ambitious on making them cum with her mouth, while Vanessa Hudgens is holding on as hard as she can to the dream and is willing to do whatever it takes to not have the producers go through with their threats of firing her.

Here she is in some staged bikini pictures with her “boyfriend” to help prove they are real wholesome Disney couple, and decided to have her mount Effron like a good little virgin who only dry fucks you til your dick falls off, because they felt the negative press of these kids being inappropriate didn’t outweigh the struggle they are having to prove Effron’s not Faggot, because Gay teen heart throbs are bad for business. When all the little girls realize they are being lied to and that the Effron fantasy won’t ever come true because they don’t have a penis and that will lead to them realizing that all the Disney dudes who sing and dance all light on their feet are also poofters and they won’t buy tickets to the movies, any of the merch or even cut out posters of the heathen from Teen Beat, to hang above their bed because their minister told them that homos are a product of Satan.

On a side note, I heard it took them 3 weeks to cooridinate this shoot because they couldn’t seem to get all the cock out of Effron’s mouth, but that could just be rumors.

Jodie Marsh proves that a drunk chick in tight clothes, with big tis hanging out all over the place like they are looking for a good time, while playfully flirting with some other ugly chick, doesn’t have to be hot to be worth fucking. These girls look like garbage failed pornstars who are well past their prime, but remind me of the time I almost scored a threesome. The story is pretty simple, I was at a bar drinking with some trashy busted up chick, who looked and smelled like her teeth were rotting. I figured she was easy pickings.

We got to talking about how she loves being naked with her friends, a thought that was only hot in theory and asked her about threesomes and lesbianism and shit like that, next thing I know the bar is closing and I get invited back to her hotel room that she is sharing with her friend to drink their mini-bar and do some shitty cocaine to keep the party going. After settling in with these 2 busted up chicks. I keep trying to drink them into something hot knowing that the situation outweighs the quality of the pussy, I decide to push for them to kiss and show each other their tits. I guess I was too eager and they weren’t really having it and asked me to leave because they were tired, but before I did, I jerked off in the bathroom to the thought of the threesome that could have been. It was a pretty humilating night but pretty much counts as a threesome in my books and that’s the end of my story.

Here’s Jodie Marsh and her tits.

I like Sam Ronson. I don’t know if she’s a good DJ, but I do know she’s good at marketing herself, since Celebrity DJs who want to get paid, need a Celebrity relationship and if they really want to get noticed, it’s better to make that Celebrity Relationship as scadelous as possible with one of the most popular girls in the gossip magazines.

She went from being the rich kid sister of some music producer that only some people have heard of, to being this IT girl everyone is talking about. That’s not to say they aren’t in love, or that they don’t bump pussies, but it is to say that in order to get to that high profile relationship, she’s gotta eat a lot of shit. I am not talking about licking Lohan’s asshole, I am talking about level she has to deal with a totally unstable, drug addicted 20 year old, who doesn’t know right from left, who has been rumored to be seen talking to herself in clubs while high, and who comes from a crazy family with a spoiled cunt upbringing where she always gets what she wants, leading me to believe she’s a demanding little whore.

So here’s Sam Ronosn, trying to make a name for herself and trying to enjoy this high quality celebrity pussy, despite the herpes ourbreaks and she’s probably trapped trying to balance it all out so that she doesn’t go insane. I remember a time when I was working security at a psyh ward of a hospital and trying to control this nut cases, or convers with these nut cases put a strain on me, but I did get some of the best blowjobs in my life, but that could only be because I’d finish as fast as possible so that the crazy slut wouldn’t relapse into her memories of her countless molestations of the past and bite my dick off.

So everyone shits on her for dressing like a dude, or looking like a dude, when I don’t find anything about her all that offensive, I don’t think she looks like a man, she’s just skinny. I don’t think her style is that different than hipster chicks I see out, and the truth is I have the same watch as her. Sure I got mine in Chinatown for about 4 dollars and it doesn’t work, but it still means we have the same taste.

Either way, here are pictures of her blowing a kiss to Lohan because if she doesn’t it may upset Lohan and throw her off into some kind of bipolar rage where she fucks the cast and crew of her movie, doesn’t sleep for three days and masters the art of crying and laughing hysterically at the same time.

So enjoy these pics of Ronson walking on glass, because I am sure she’s not enjoying living this mess she’s got herself caught up inside, despite all the money she’s found herself making and the name she’s managed to put on the map.

Hayden Panettiere is a revolutionary. She just keeps pushing the limits despite her physcial deformities. She won’t let her l height hold her back from anything. She’s strong (really strong), she’s somehow convinced the world she’s hot, and now she’s modeling. The last person her size to be a paid model was my friend Frankie who was born with some disorder that didn’t let him break 5 foot, and dude’s modeling job was working at a loal art class as a nude subject.

Either way ripping on the little model for not being able to be a basketball player is dull, everyone does it and it’s really not even an issue. The truth is that she’s still got a pussy under all that muscle and can is hot enought to be a the subject of your carnival porn fantasies, you know get bitch jugging while spinning around on your dick like she’s on a Merry-Go-Round, and she easier on the eyes than a real midget with their big scary weird normal sized hands and thick stumpy bodies, so we should celebrate these pictures for her Candies ad campaign and not shit on them like I shat on this midget I got with sexually, because I knew it was just be happy getting love and German Scat was just hitting the scene and was something I wanted to try, and convincing other girls was almost impossible, so capitalized on the opportunity knowing that even if it tried to run away, it’d be easy to catch because of its little legs.

This is what Birtish Soap stars look like in bikinis, an outfit unemployed British men everywhere probably prefer seeing these girls in, not because bikinis make life a better place, proven everytime my wife sits in my neighbor’s backyard under the sprinkler to keep cool in the summer, since the heat is like death for her and her heavily insulated body, and death for me, because of the smells that come with profuse sweating from her ass, but because some girls just look better naked than clothed. These girls have these cartoon lookin’ wonky faces that make me feel like I am watching some low budget british documentary on the longterm effects of unfiltered, mercury contaminated water near some steel factory in working class neighborhoods, but when you take off their clothes, they are totally worth fucking…from behind…to prevent nightmares, or permanent psychological damage that turns you homo.

Their names are Adele Silva and Verity Rushworth, in case you were wondering, which I doubt you were, because ugly faced girls have the ability to make hot bodies unfuckable and we hate them for that internal battle they cause us trying to figure out whether or not we can get really go through with watching theirn disgusting chompers eat dinner just to get in their their pants and that kind of debate shouldn’t happen when it comes to getting pussy.

If these bitches were nice, they let their bodies go south, to match their faces, that way we wouldn’t have to deal with these kinds of internal debates about whether we’d bang them or not because the truth is, despite how busted these girls are, they have an ego and false sense of what they look like and actually fancy themselves to be hot making the liklihood of you getting up in them, even if you don’t really want to and are just doing it because there are no hotter chicks around and a pussy is a pussy even if attached to shit, is impossible.