Tila Tequila was at the Pussycat Doll event and like all girls wanted to be the center of attention in the room. You know how competitive women are, it’s some primitive animal instinct, where they try to be the bitch the stud decides to fuck, knock up so she can live her life purpose of procreation out, or some shit. So when the event is for a group of sluts, girls have to step the game up, slip into some lingerie, bondage gear, fetish shit, because it is the only way they will get noticed amongst the competition, even though every one in attendance, like Parish Hilton or Bai Ling, are the kind of girls you’d expect to walk in on getting fucked in the back alley, bathroom, dancefloor, VIP room, taxi on the way home, bedroom, and pretty much anywhere there is a hard penis, or phallic shaped object around. You know how the Pussycat dolls are, they like to keep it classy.

There was a time many years ago, when I ended up at a gay bar because I was into drugs, and that’s where the drugs were free. Not because I was hustlin’ dudes, because the truth is that every time I went out to one of these parties, I’d have lower self esteem than I went in with, because gay dudes will fuck anything, but they wouldn’t fuck me, but I was too wasted to really care, and if the guys were coming onto me, I would have probably not had as much fun as I had.

The good thing about gay bars is the fag hags, you know the kind of girl who either tries to pretend she’s fabulous, like some socialite with her gay man entourage, who pretends to be fashionable and superficial and shit, but who insecure as shit, and that’s why she’s running this whole act to begin with and she’s just sad she’s not getting any attention at the bar and just wants to get her pussy licked by her bff fag she wishes wasn’t a fag and who she spends all that time with, in hopes he’ll slip up, but that’s not going to happen, so when she’s drunk enough she settles for someone like me, because it’s a numbers game and I’m in the fuckin’ lead…..

Either way, I used the lady’s room, because the men’s room was a fuckin’ sex pit of sinning disgustingness and always smelled like shit, and I just didn’t need to get raped by some guy who was a little too caught up in the moment. So as I am waiting for a stall to piss in, this tall asian in a thong and lingerie walks out, and I’m thinking that I can get used to this shit…before realizing she was really a he….and I have a feeling in a few years, we’ll find out the Bai Ling was a he all along and here he is at a Pussycat Doll event dressed as classy as he gets….

So Kanye’s on this new kick where he breaks into weird made up song when he’s in concert. This time he goes on some weird ramble about there being other fish in the sea and into some Pinocchio shit..last week in concert he went on some freestyle about being lonely at the top .

It’s like he uses the stage as a platform for his therapy where he runs some beat and sings songs that he throws together off the top of his head that are about as solid and make as much sense as when my wife gets singing in the shower, you know throwing random broken English words together trying to make some kind of song she thinks represent her feelings at the time, because she thinks she could have been famous if she was black, because fat white women get no respect, but fat Black women get careers like Beyonce, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Star Jones, only she doesn’t realize she’s a talentless hack who should stick to what she’s good at, like eating more Oreos in one sitting than you thought was humanly possible.

Truth is, this dude is like a 5 year old kid who starts in on a made up song as she finger paints, but Kanye thinks he has the right to be heard, because he’s got this fake ego and thinks he is Elvis with some revolution creative artistry because he’s a broken down little white girl with mommy issues, who was coddled and told he was the best growing up and that has given him a whole lot of insecurities, all while trapped in a black man’s body, but people are confused and think that he’s some kind of genius, when in reality, he is just good at marketing his shit and ripping off other people making people think he’s really this talent and this chanting weirdness, like something out of a cult sermon, or a preschool Christmas Pageant makes me feel uncomfortable when seeing it coming out of his mouth, when people bought tickets to hear his Daft Punk/Justice cover song called “Stronger”.

Either way, here’s a 5 Year Old Singing a Made Up Song…Kanye Rippped Off Her Style….

Here’s another set of 5 Year Olds Singing a Made Up Song….Kanye Ripped Them Off Too….

So Ashley Olsen went to Hermes to buy herself some luxury items. I walked into a Hermes store once, because I was drunk and thought it was called Herpes not Hermes and I needed to see what kind of shit they sell in a store called Herpes.

The sales staff weren’t too into me or my look and indirectly asked me to leave after I asked them how much Herpes go for. Then I saw a line of saddles on the wall and asked them if the saddles come with herpes or if they are made out of herpes. Then there was a line of ties and scarves that were all decorative and shit and I asked if the pattern was representing an outbreak or if the guy who made them had herpes. I was trying really hard to find the common thread in why a store called herpes was selling this expensive shit, was it because herpes is a white collar STD, or maybe one for executives and rich people because rich people don’t use condoms. I couldn’t figure it out….

When I started getting cornered by the staff because they caught onto the fact that I was broke, I tried playing the dot com millionaire angle, saying something like my ratty ass jogging pants are worth more than anything in the store, especially more than their 9 dollars an hour plus monthly bonus if they meet the sales objective salary, but they just had security escort me out while I was screaming shit like “I don’t need herpes anyway, you fucking whores”, it was a great fucking scene and when I found out it was actually called Hermes, I realized those sales people probably had no fucking idea what the hell I was talking about and probably kicked me out because they thought their lives were at risk.

Either way, Ashley Olsen throws a funny scene in this video yelling at the paparazzi shit like, “Get off the property, I am trying to close my gate, Get OFF the Property, I swear to god, GET OFF THE PROPERTY”, she’s so assertive, I guess that’s just the attitude you need to run a multi-million dollar company, by letting business managers and your parents exploit you from the age of 2. If anything, this is the equivalent of a brat begging their dad for a pony, since she’s the reason her dad’s not working at the steel plant anymore, so if he knows what’s good for him, he better deliver the fuckin’ goods because rich girls always get what they want and that’s what makes them crazy…

So I have some fake Kim Kardashian on Facebook. The other day, some dude or creepy person who jerks off to her profile all day hoping she answers him, wrote something on her wall “have a sweet Sunday” and I responded hoping to get deleted as a friend while leaving my mark by saying something like “every day for Kim Kardashian is sweet, but that’s just because she can’t stop eating cake”, or something like that. They kept me as a friend, because I assume some bitter assistant or person pretending to be Kim Kardashian thinks it is funny, because even though they work for her, they still can’t fucking stand her and her bullshit cunt ways, or maybe there’s a small possibility it is actually her and since she doesn’t know how to read, or since it is true, or since she thinks I am complimenting her, she kept me around….

Anyway, whoever is running that facebook profile posted a link to Kim Kardashian’s charity ebay auction that I had no idea existed.

Want to buy my Range Rover or any of my cloth???
Today at 7:41am

We are on the homepage of Ebay today auctioning off some of our most prized possessions!

I’m auctioning off my Range Rover, Reggie is giving up his Mercedes and Kourtney has made her Maserati available!

Check out our auction page to get all of the details. A portion of the proceeds goes to my favorite charity, the Dream Foundation!!!

Happy bidding!

XOXO,
Kim

She is selling off clothes, shoes, accessories, and cars, like this down on her luck stipper I know, who turned to the internet to sell her used panties to perverts because she heard she can make money off it. Sure proceeds of the strippers online panty shop don’t really go to charity, unless you consider her obscene amount of abortions a science experiment, but a percentage of Kim Kardashian’s auctions go to Charity, I guess you know with being a greedy little fame whore, with all the money in the world, who probably didn’t pay for any of the shit she’s selling, it’s only natural to give 5% of the sale to fat camps, or other relevant charities, so she doesn’t look like the greedy fucking pig that we all know she is.

Here’s a Sample of some of the things she is selling:

Kim Kardashian’s STRIKING Checkered Bustier

?Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! STRIKING Red and White checkered top, bustier style. Demi. There is a row of red fabric covered buttons up front, center. Adjustable straps have large ruffle detail. Smocked on the sides for stretch and detail. Back zip, measures 19″ from top of sleeve to bottom. Cute and can be doubled as a table cloth, it is that big.

Kim Kardashian’s MYSTIQUE thongs

?Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! MYSTIQUE thongs. Named the MYSTIQUE because some of the world’s top scientists and designers collaborated in what is considered one of Man’s greatest accomplishments, to find a way to fit Kim Kardashian’s bottom heavy figure into a thong, with comfort and the safety of the people around her in mind.

Kim’s White Range Rover

Want the paparazzi to mistake you for Kim as you pull up at the club? It could happen - bid on her famous and signature vehicle, a 2006 white Supercharged Range Rover, and live the glamorous life of Kim Kardashian! In addition to the star power this Ranger Rover brings with it. Kim recently had the pink accents and trim removed to create a more stylish look. It was also featured along with Kim on the cover of the June 2007 issue of DUB Magazine.??This vehicle has been well maintained, has low mileage, and is in excellent condition. It is clean inside and out, and has been regularly serviced. The custom sound system includes two JL Audio 500/1 and one 300/4 amps, two 12-inch W6-V2 subwoofers, and two pairs of 6.5-inch compone

Reinforced Suspension to Support Kim’s Fat ass and Doublewide seats to allow her to fit in the car and feel like a normal person, instead of the fat slob that she is could be great for other people battling with obesity.

90 percent of cum stains have been bleached out.

Here’s a screenshot of my facebook stupidities….

In keeping up with the theme of the day, which is slaughtering this site post by fucking post with shit no one cares about, I decided to post these pictures of Jessica Alba on set in some kind of over-sized winter coat, because everyone knows, that a picture of a covered up Jessica Alba is a totally fucking useless picture because her body is the only thing she has going for her, but then I remembered she had a kid this year, pretty much making Jessica Alba useless even when half naked, because shit’s gaping and tainted, so here are those pics….one nail at a time motherfuckers…

In who really gives a fuck about this rich kid news, here’s an older video that was shot at some store opening in NYC that went down on November 6th. The event was hosted by Zoe Kravitz, who is 19 and she was drunk. She is Lisa Bonet of Cosby Show Fame and Lenny Kravitz’s daughter and she’s not 21 but still manages to get the drinks in her because in case you didn’t know, the law doesn’t apply to privileged people and alcoholism does because they are hurting on the inside.

I know you don’t care, but since less than 10,000 people saw the video on Youtube, I figured I’d get it out there, but there’s no tits or pussy in this shit, so I don’t really know what I was thinkin’, but there’s no turning back now….

I guess it’s only natural that when you have spent the last 10 years not using condoms, and suffering the burning, itching, bleeding consequences, that when you’re fresh out of an abusively controlling 9 month long relationship with a man who made you role play as his one true love, his twin brother, by dressing you up in mainstream skate gear and spending hours trying to replicate his tattoos, like a nerd painting his Starship Enterprise model, you’d try to over-compensate to not scare off potential dick.

I am not sure if she’s telling the world she is the kind of girl who will show you a good time, like a clip from a fetish movie, with whips and production value of a Cirque du Soliel event, in efforts to make people ignore what they’ve seen in her sex tape, or if she confused doctor’s order to use latex when in state of outbreak, but not quite getting it because she never got that “sex ed talk” and to her condoms are a foreign thing commoners use, like panties, so a stylish latex outfit with her name sequined in will just have to do and so will the tranny vibe she’s given off, because when dealing with Paris Hilton, that’s just the way it is…..

I don’t know when these pictures were taken, but I figure a while ago, since we haven’t heard shit from Kelis in a long time, but I think it’s safe to say that her milkshake didn’t bring all the boys to the yard, they were already there and they figured it’d be better than playing another game of pick-up basketball, but she wouldn’t want us knowing that she’s the town whore, she’d rather us think she’s highly desirable, and people go to her, when in reality, they just shove their dicks in her mouth because it is open, willing and waiting, and 10 of your friends just got down with it and they’ll call you gay if you don’t follow-through.

Either way, I find something seriously offensive about her panties, maybe it’s got something to do with my confusion as to what lies beneath, maybe it’s got to do with you being a racist who doesn’t think he’s a racist, but I know, there’s nothing hot about this picture, so in attempts to murder my site, think of this as another gash in it’s website arm that I’m hoping will make it website bleed to death, because I know that no one wants to see this shit but post anyway, with total disregard to your needs. I’m a real dick who deserves to be ignored.

So the guy behind Von Dutch and Ed Hardy, Christian Audigier has a 16 year old daughter who he neglects and he tried to make up for his absence by throwing her some really over the top birthday party that featured performances by T.I. and The Pussy Cat Dolls, who were introduced by Perez Hilton. Other people in attendance were cheesy coke party slut Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky and some Kardashian.

When they brought her down to get her gift she was surprised by not 1 but 2 cars, because at 16, you need really need 2 fucking cars. I guess that goes to prove that Ed Hardy hasn’t just ruined my life, but it has ruined the life of this little broken down girl who you will see a lot of in the party scene over the next 10 years, but that’s just because daddy’s feeding her money and letting her in on some of his cocaine stash, while every cheesy person in the world and stripper alike are going to be suckin’ her dick, because to an Ed Hardy collector, this Crystal bitch is better than the 900 dollar t-shirt they bought last week.

The highlight of the video is when someone screams “I saw your porno” to Paris Hilton. I wish that person was me. Totally over the fuckin’ top and the whole thing is disgusting to me, the outcome of all this, probably won’t be, because I like seeing people fall from the top because their daddy wasn’t around. It’s pretty much the reason behind 95% of the times I’ve got laid and 95% of the porn I’ve jerked off to….Good times.

Now I may not be one to give parenting advice, because I am the kind of guy who encourages my stepdaughters to fuck, as long as they videotape it for me to critique, but this kind of excess is fucking child abuse. If I was the richest Nouveau Riche man in the world, who huffed lots of blow, fucked lots of hoes and believed that spending all my money on trash made sense, I still would never spoil my kid like that, not because I hate them for ruining my life, but because I know this kind of behavior fucks them up and no good comes from it, but I guess when you’re the guy who conceived Ed Hardy, no good is all you know….