The obnoxiously hot model trifecta of Miranda Kerr, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Jessica Hart had a joint birthday party at the Gramercy Park Hotel. You weren’t invited? Don’t worry, we took a few pictures!

Anna Nicole sister Donna Hogan: Truth is stranger than photoshop.

• Dina Lohan giving Dean Martin a run for his decomposing liver.

• Richie Sambora finally free to get divorced from Denise Richards.

• Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway are going to make a perfect onscreen couple… Seriously, we’re being serious. They look asorable together. Nice casting job… We’re being dead SERIOUS!

• Again, skip Grindhouse, rent The Kentucky Fried Movie (nsfw) Speaking of Catholic high school girls in trouble, St Trinian’s Lily Cole looks like her head is about to pop.

• Gawker Stalker: Jimmy, Howard, Mark, you’re alarmist douchebags. But Emily, honey, that didn’t go so well.

• McSweeney’s: Christopher Hitchens Visits St. Margaret’s School For Young Women, Where He Discovers Little Girls Aren’t Funny, Either.

• iTunes: Songs the Kings Of Leon lifted for their new album Because Of The Times. Decent collection. Soft?

• Madonna: So How exactly will that work, if Justin doesn’t actually write his own songs himself?

• Andrew Bird absolutely killed on Letterman last night.

• Dos and Don’ts & Friends: We don’t even consider it wasting time.

• Tapes n tapes: The TDK D-60 was a classic, but we were always kind of partial to the XLII-S90. We owned one That’s, too. Although we never knew were they sold them. (via theapt)

• Maybe Todd Goliath could get a job at Urban Outfitters. (swiped from boingboing)

• Wake us up when Hendrix goes on stage, bra!

• Yes, Cory. You can get the blue one, too.

• The Girl: Dani Bolina

In this month’s issue of Black Book the person we no longer recognize as Rose McGowan talks about her suspiciously kooky (on the verge of corny) upbringing, interests, philosophies, peeves, diet, and whatever else. You can read the article in its entirety HERE, but trust us, you’ll just want those fifteen minutes back and that horrible taste out of your brain.

There was a time, not long- well, we guess it was a long time ago, that we really cared for Rose McGowan. She was a modern dame, an acidic pin-up. She would have made a great Mrs. Mia Wallace.

Harvey says he’s “disappointed” by the weekend grosses. We saw Grindhouse, and we’re not! We’re fucking elated. We hope Tarantino gets the message, which is: WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK. MAKE GOOD MOVIES INSTEAD. How delusional are they to wonder why the masses failed to show up to a unabridged, crappy, cliffnotes version of an entire shit genre? Think about it. Who the fuck cares, or can afford to care, or has the time to care about grindhouse movies except Quentin Tarantino?

Robert Rodriguez is the Rachel Ray of directors. Nothing he does is new or interesting. But it tastes okay when you’re hungover, stoned, or have nothing else to eat. So the world needs Robert Rodriguezes and the world needs sewers. Planet Terror was the success of the two films, however, only because Rodriguez is a natural grindhouse director. Which is to say he sucks, bad, naturally. And in an ironic twister, Quentin Tarantino, the actor, ended up ruining Death Proof for us. Well, that, and his boring lot of broken-faced, shit actress nobodies* imitating Quentin Tarantino…

(You know how every Woody Allen movie has that Woody Allen character in it, even if Woody Allen isn’t playing him? Well that’s the way every single character is in Death Proof. They’re ALL playing Quentin Tarantino, including Quentin Tarantino! and, frankly, Quentin Tarantino talks too much.)

…And the script. If you can call it that. It’s more like Tarantino writing his own future spank material. Every time he appears on screen it’s like when they turn the house lights on after a Phish concert. All of a sudden everybody is way too real, and way too creepy, and you just want to get the fuck out of there. In essence, Quentin Tarantino kills the boner we have for Quentin Tarantino movies. He’s his own worst enemy.

At one point during one of the very long and dull conversations (that Quentin Tarantino -a DUDE- wrote(!!!) for girls!!! OH, JERK OFF!!!), between BLANK and BLANK, we lost concentration on the movie so completely that we considered walking out and asking for our money back. We resisted, for unknown reasons, but moments later, there was the overwhelming urge to throw our mostly full, extra-large, small Coca-Cola at the movie screen. The syrupy, sugar water splattered all over his movie. The drip. The stain. The sticky floor. The three other people fast asleep in the theater. How fucking 70’s “grindhouse” would that have been?

Vote Sanjaya.

• Actaully, Rosario Dawson was pretty good, for once.

Continuing with our red-head theme, we would really like to see more of the consistently shiny and frequently talented Alicia Witt in Hollywood movies. Please, can someone do something about that?

(Hopefully, 88 Minutes won’t reek as hard as it looks like it’s going to reek… Oh, no. It’s even worse than we thought.)

Fun Fact: Her mother is Diane Witt, who was in the Guiness Book of World Records from 1988 to 1996 for having the world’s longest hair.

Funnier Fact: Laguna Beach goon Jason Wahler got arrested, AGAIN. Jesus, this Geico Caveman is giving Pete Doherty a run for his arrest record. But, really, why can’t what happened to Todd Fedoruk just happen to The Wahlrus? The crowd would. go. wild.

Jenna Fischer (Pam) vs. Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe): Who ya got, bitch?!

Lula magazine: Featuring Karen Elson, Sarah Sophie Flicker, and Zooey Deschanel. These pics might be old, but they’re new to us.

• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart?! What? No! Okay, fine. We can totally see it. Besides, you know she has to be pissed she hasn’t caught Michael Douglas cheating, yet. C’mon, you know girlfriend’s looking for the classy way out.

• And it looks like Mischa has finally found a look -that flatters her legs- short shorts with nude high-heel boots! X17, paparazzi that care. And maybe watch too much Project Runway. Aw, who are we kidding? You can never watch too much Pro Ru!!!

• Mutual Appreciation: A movie definitely worth netflixin’, even though it’s in black and white and does not star Academy Award Winner Presenter Jessica Biel.

• Took A Zandrex! This particular phrase (along with the exclamation point) from Anna Nicole Smith’s diary has serious t-shirt potential.

• Away From Her: You mean, like, Sarah Polley Sarah Polley?

• Knuckle Sandwich: Out on DVD this Tuesday. finally!

• Oakley Frogskins: Of course they’re coming back.

• Kate Moss is making clothes that look like Kate Moss’ clothes.

• Even more touch screen phones to get all handsy with, pervert.

• Art Brut on DVD, top of the pops!

• Entourage: Exactly what he said.

• Carolyn Murphy and Angela Lindvall get a room.

• Goodnight, Vagina.

According to the NY Post: heiress/model/socialite/cliche Lydia Hearst is fuming over “inexcusable” actions by Heathrow Airport security guards, who tossed around her undergarments and had the gall to rough up her Puma bag. Hearst claimed she repeatedly asked the guards to be careful with her bag because, “The Puma Lydia Bag is a sample item I designed belonging to Puma and Heatherette. It is on loan to me under the expressed understanding that it is to be used for promotional photos and interviews only.” Wonder if it was the blue one or the red one.

They missed a few stellar albums’ album covers, like Sad Sappy Sucker, This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About, Baron Von Bullshit, Building Nothing Out Of Something, and Everywhere and his Nasty Parlor Tricks. But whatever. Nobody who likes the newnew stuff is going to care about any of that older, scary stuff, anyway.

• “Never Ending Math Equation” (mp3)

• “Dramamine” (mp3)

(via entertainmentweekly)

Found this tiny slice of awesome buried deep in the print version (not online) of Rolling Stone’s recent “The Magic and Majesty of Pink Floyd” rehash.

(Syd) Barrett never returned to making music after the mid-1970’s, but according to his sister Rosemary, he did make art again. She told Mike Watkinson and Pete Anderson, authors of a Barrett biography, that he would photograph a flower, make a large painting of the photograph, photograph the painting, then destroy the painting. “Once something was over, it was over.

• Roger Waters Interview :: “Have You Got It Yet?” (mp3)

• Syd Barrett :: “Bob Dylan Blues” (mp3)

• Pink Floyd :: “Pigs (Three Different Ones)” (mp3)

Who doesn’t love them some Justin Theroux? More than thrice we’ve overheard the boys and girls around the GF watercooler state that he is THE Persian kitty’s pants suit. What other actor can slip so seamlessly from big-budget summer farts to Sunday-night tv treasures to clever-quirk indie fare? (A guy version of Parker Posey?) Talented, masculine -yet senstive- funny, brooding, and… eloquent?

“There’s nothing more soul-crushing than watching 70’s porn,” says Justin Theroux. “It’s so much realer than the sort of shaved beaver glam porn we get now- it’s a fucking sweaty, hairy mess, and we had about five days in the editing room watching porn after porn, trying to find the right scene.”

All that and a killer widow’s peak!

Care to find out what the wild, wild world of prOn he’s editing about? Read the rest of the article HERE, HERE, and HERE.

(via anthem)