Look who’s bloggin’ over at the new and improved the apartment, beta!

That’s Ali Lohan in the leopard micro bikini. She’s 13. Way to go, Dina!!!

• Ali Lohan (with reading by Dinasaur Lohan) :: “Silent Night” (mp3)

• All those pictures from Lindsay Lohan’s 21st birthday party.

• Liz Phair solo, Fuck & Run, live in 1995.

This collection of Police demos from 1981 (made entirely by Sting while Stewart was in the bathroom and Andy was having a cigarette outback) is an interesting and amusing look behind the curtain at one of the least typical yet most popular bands of that decade. It also serves as an important evolutionary marker between the band’s early punk efforts and their final 1983 patchwork masterpiece Synchronicity. Yadda fucking yadda… The lyrical content is strictly downer-literate, per Sting, but the synth-saddled melodies on unreleased tracks like “Don’t Give Up Your Daytime Job” and “Don’t Think We Could Ever Be Friends” are Pepsi Generation feather-weight soundtrack pop, deadly in their inoffensiveness. These demos hint at an average Police. In fact, “Don’t Give Up Your Daytime Job” would’ve fit maybe too perfectly over this classic Mannequin montage. George Lucas has always said he hates actors and would rather make movies without them. Most likely, Sting is the same way with his music. If he could have successfully toured the world back then with a robot drummer and a CGI guitarist he probably would have, Spinal Tap as it may have been. Thank 8GB Jesusphone for Andy and Stewart’s obvious contributions.

• “Secret Journey” (mp3)

• “Spirits In The Invisible World” (mp3)

• “Invisible Sun”, alternate version (mp3)

• “Too Much Information” (mp3)

• “One World (Not Three)” (mp3)

• “Hungry For You” (mp3)

• “Invisible Sun” (mp3)

• “Secret Journey” (mp3)

• “Don’t You Believe Me Baby” (mp3)

• “Don’t Think We Could Ever Be Friends” (mp3)

• “Don’t You Look At Me” (mp3)

• “It’s Never Too Late” (mp3)

• “Don’t Give Up Your Daytime Job” (mp3)

• “Don’t Think We Could Ever Be Friends”, take 1 (mp3)

So, Vanessa Minnillo isn’t a Mexican hooker? We’re confused. (last item)

• Knocked Up: Nicole Richie FINALLY gives in to those tabloid reports and gets herself crack-babbied, according to tabloid report.

Before The Devil Knows You?re Dead: Warning: This trailer is NSFW (Marisa Tomei’s boobies!). Or good. Remotely. In fact, we’d rather ram rusty John From Cincinnatis in our eyes and pour Jane’s Crazy Salt on the wound than watch 90+ minutes of this. Not sure what they’re smoking at Cinema Blend. Besides, the trailer gives the ENTIRE movie away. Except the inevitable part where Phillip Seymour Hoffman gets it. Or doesn’t. Either way, he has to get it. (via heartonastick)

Hey, nice Kwik-E-Mart!

• The Delays :: “Stay Where You Are” (Live Sessions) (mp3)

After attending a socialite’s birthday party, Hilton meets up with an acquaintance named Jose, who offers to hook her and Shaw up with “some good stuff.”

Hilton asks, “Like what?”

Jose responds that his friend has everything.

“Quaaludes?,” she asks.

After Jose answers, “Yeah,”

Hilton says, “70 milligrams.”

“I don’t know, I mean. Don’t start talking milligrams to me,” replies Jose.

“Ludes,” she continues.

“Yes, I know,” responds Jose.

“Quaaludes,” Hilton repeats.

“I know what it is. He has everything. Percocet, you name it. He’s like a pharmacy,” says Jose.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand SCENE.

• Related: According to Electric Six, infected girls do it better.

Somebody has been at our porridge and eaten it all up. Damn, Bjork!

• The Volta Sound :: “Goldilocks” (mp3)

• Teddybears :: “Little Stereo” (mp3)

• Bjork :: “Human Behavior” (mp3)

Speaking of honey pots & human BEEhavior, who wants to be the first one to call David Byrne a conspiracy nut?

• Lambchop :: “This Corrosion” (Sisters Of Mercy cover)

Isla Fisher will star in The Cookie Queen: “the story of Claire “Cookie” Taylor, who holds the record for all-time girl scout cookie sales. When Claire learns that a precocious fifth grader (hopefully not Dakota Fanning) threatens to end her 20-year reign as cookie queen, she sets out to sabotage her.” Smells syrupy. Perhaps Hot Rod will fare funnier.

• Danny Devito: Parties at Coachellea, poaches restaurant staff, produces premium Limoncello. Still no sign of Rhea.

• Gisele Bundchen is finally free to wear other people’s panties.

• The new Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer trailer looks… sweet?

• Wong Kar Wai’s first English language film, My Bluberry Nights, starring Jude Law, Rachel Weisz, and Norah Jones, will debut at Cannes.

• AICN: It’s official, Choke, Chuck Palahniuk’s 4th novel, has been greenlit and is going into production on June 18th. Related: Win a copy of Chuck’s new book Rant.

• South Park’s Trey Parker writes and directs every episode. So what the chocolate salty balls does co-creator Matt Stone do?

• The LA Times talks to self-proclaimed comic-curmudgeon (and Freddy Krueger’s stunt double) Frank Miller about broads, bullets, booze, backlashes, and Al Qaeda.

Alfonso Cuoron, Gus Van Sant, Joel & Ethan Coen, Alexander Payne, Wes Craven, and others direct short, love stories in Paris, Je T’Aime.

• Interpol’s “The Heinrich Manuever”, off of the upcoming Our Love To Admire disc, is an acceptable, if not unexquisite, corpse.

• Hear: Grizzly Bear’s Gorilla vs. Bear-approved Daytrotter Session.

• Heartonastick is drowning in the Japanese pop waters of Shiina Ringo.

• The May mix is now up for the download at Catbirdseat.

• Big Boi and Atlanta Ballet go together like Big Boi and Atlanta Ballet.

• Dada featuring Sandy Rivera & Trix: “Lollipop”. Sooo, you think they’re really talking about candy?

• SanFran Conan has George Lucas, Will Arnett, and Chris Isaak, tonight.

• GQ: The real estates of Ivanka Trump.

• The Girl: Marcia Marques, 20 anos, Cancer.

• Tom Cruise rules Gay Unicorn Planet.

• Blast from the Past: Judgement Night.