See, what’s funny about this picture is, haha, nine times out of ten Stipe is the LOLGAY one.

1 minute and 43 seconds into the trailer for No Revervarions, Liz Phair makes her less than triumphant return… if you don’t count her less than triumphant return with Nancy Drew. (via hollywoodelsewhere, where you can find our favorite comment of the day, “Is there a scene in the film where Anthony Bourdain puts his cigarette out on their eyes?”)

Not to rub salty tears in the wound, but if this cookie-cutter soundtrack gigging doesn’t work out, pretty sure Axe is still auditioning.

Related: Have you seen these Heidi Montag bikini pictures, yet? She’s like the Liz Phair of the worthless reality tv stars, but without any of the original brilliance.

• It's like the artist is trying to say something about fashion and luxury items and material possessions and drugs, and the hollowness of it all. It's hard to make out, though.

• Must Read: The incredible story of a blind man's penis. (via chunklet)

• Lindsayism: The line about Jane that everyone always used was "I don't feel like shit after I read it." Thanks for the memories, Jane. We'll miss ya.

• Zoe Cassavettes’ Broken English, starring, you guessed it, Parker Posey, finally gets a trailer.

• Washlet: “Paper tends to… distribute the problem.” (via adrants)

• Nirvana, Reading Festival 1992: As good as it gets. Check Kurt’s “More Than A Feeling” intro to “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

• Think we’ll skip dessert. Maybe just the check please.

• Anybody can wear shorts?! Wha? Thanks, Lauren Benoit!

• Zu Pan: Get lost here.

Here’s an interesting bill, Maroon 5 and The Hives. Two, snazzily-dressed, 5-man bands with cocky frontmen. Oh, and both groups are on the Universal label. Don’t want to forget that most important stat. So what to make of this still severely abby normal frankentour? First of all, we want to say that we don’t have a problem with either of these bands, except that Maroon 5 is basically the gay heir to the Eagles’ throne: shitty LA muzak to star fuck to. Other than that, no problem. Besides, they did pick The Hives as their tourmates, right? They can’t be all souless, neu-disco poseurs, right? As for the bright side, you’re totally going to beat the traffic home. Let’s do something kinda stereogum-y: What’s the worst opening band/mismatched opener to headliner you’ve ever seen? We’ll go first (and reeeeeeeally age ourselves in the process), The Beastie Boys opened for Madonna on the Like A Virgin Tour and got booed off stage by the entire sold-out 13-year-old girl crowd at Madison Square Garden. Yes. That’s right. We felt the silky touch of Madonna’s caresses. At the time, and given our tender age, the Beasties seemed pretty fucking cool to us; they were drinking beers and cursing, and they had girls in cages. Our adult chaperones did not find them as equally amusing. Either that or Jimmy Fallon’s band opening for The Strokes on the Wyckd Sceptre tour… good lord, did that really happen?

• The Hives :: “Hate To Say I Told You So” live at Leeds (mp3)

Mr. Cera started acting professionally, in local commercials, when he was 9. He was 14 when he filmed the pilot for Arrested Development. Mitchell Hurwitz, the show?s creator, described Mr. Cera as ?so confident, respectful and well adjusted, it?s frightening,? adding, ?He?s like a little Ron Howard. (via nyt)

Trivia: Ron Howard is the voice of the narrator on Arrested Delopment.

• Impossible is the Opposite of Possible: Michael Cera’s video resume made for McSweeney’s Presents: The World, Explained.

• Derek & Simon: “Sweet Tits”, co-starring Michael Cera and drected by Bob Odenkirk.

• Michael Cera interview from November 19, 2005.

• Buy It: Arrested Development, Seasons 1-3

• Clark and Michael

Leah DeWavrin at the closing of the Hussein Chalayan Spring/Summer 2007 Show. Click on the pic for the nsfw version.

From Fashionista:

What was it like to open and close the Hussein Chalayan show… nude?

“It was really cool!” Leah DeWavrin told us.

“They asked me at the casting to do it - they said, Leah, you are the youngest girl, you are the bravest girl, can you do this? And I love Hussein and so I said, sure, why not? But then on the day of the show, I got so nervous! And you know, they put the crazy hat on me for rehearsal, and I thought, oh no, I cannot do this. But everyone backstage started screaming my name and the dressers just pushed me out there, and I thought, okay, well, here I go! And (French Vogue editor) Carine Roitfeld stood up and started cheering, and I felt great. It was pure, it was beautiful, I’m glad I did it.”

But what did her mother say?

“Oh, she told me never to do anything like that again!”

• YouTube: The Hussein Chalayan Spring/Summer 2007

• Gallery: Leah DeWavrin

• Related: Terry Richardson repeats himself with Asia Argento.

If we had an iPhone, the first thing we’d do with it is go directly to the iTunes TV Show Store and download the entire first season of 30 Rock, so we could watch it on the bus to our mandatory community service. And we’d skip ahead to “Jack The Writer - Part One”. Um, Cerie? Ouch!

We’re aware that you can watch every episode online. Hooray Beer!

• Wiki: Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts

• eBay: Nuts To You, Vol. 1

• The: iFiddle

Avril Lavigne: “My decision to discontinue working with Chantal after co-writing together on my second record was simply based on the fact that we had no hits together.” (via myspace)

• “Contagious” (mp3)

The Supremes Live At The Copa, John & Yoko Some Time in New York City, Suicidal Tendencies, Peter, Bjorn & John Writer’s Block, The Buckshot Boys, The Beatles Anthology, The Graduate, Foo Dogs, and The Chocolate Watch Band’s Psych.

?As a story, however, Ratatouille is fun without very much surprise. It?s like a fusty old Disney cartoon retrofitted with the Pixar sheen. The lack of celebrity voices is a major drawback, since Remy ends up with very little personality. Contrast him with, say, the bad-boy Owen Wilson speedster in Cars, and you?re seeing the difference between a hero with spice and a bland one who happens to know where the spice rack is.?

Well said, Owen Gleiberman. In fact, the only way we could agree with you more were if we were to be inside you, which we think about. Often. At any rate, it wasn?t until we read your review that we realized the shortcomings of this fusty movie. We left the Googleplex elated, thrilled with Pixar?s best work to date. However, when we went home to rave about our experience and began searching for Ratatouille message boards, we stumbled upon your review. Yep, we?d have to save ?OMFG! Best Movie Ever!!! RWFLOL!? for License To Wed, because your astute critique was spot on?and illuminated the folly of our way.

You?re more correct than Judith Martin, Owen: if you don?t have celebrity fuel, you?re running on fumes. Celebrities make everything better: diet books, electric grills, sweatpants, perfume, kids with cancer, global warming, rehab facilities, Namibia, and, most of all, animated movies. Ever since we read your review it?s as if Ratatouille didn?t even have a plot. It?s hard to believe we could even understand the no-names voicing those fusty characters. When a celebrity rat says something like, ?Now shut up and eat your garbage.? it?s hilarious. When a non-celebrity rat says the same thing, it comes out sounding more like, ?Now shut up and eat your garbage.? What a joke. A fucking bad joke. Like the one about the guy named Tonto Bernstein, but whose friends call him Bubba. These Pixar people were clearly not thinking. Frankly, we found it all to reek of amateur.

If only George Clooney had voiced Remy and Jessica Alba voiced Colette, then, and only then, would we have had some real rat laughs. And how perfect would Vince Vaughn have been as the pint-sized French chef? Or the hilarious Keanu Reeves as Emile? Or Ben Affleck. Or Freddie Prinze, Jr! The list goes on for inches. Just the thought of that star-studded movie would certify it a Fresh Tomato.

And where were the Sopranos references? The Coldplay is gay pokes? Where was Randy Newman with a piano ditty about dreaming big and accepting all walks of life, even the hairless-tailed rodent variety? Where were the fart jokes? Oh, how we yearned, prayed, and pleaded for a fart joke. Just one sweet, juicy, colon-blowing, fart joke. Christ, they sit around eating cheese all day. Hello? Talk about digestion fodder. And where the hell were the product placements? Like real products. Not some invented brand that we can?t buy. We want to buy the cookware of rats. We want to sip the wine of rodents. Listen up, Pixar, you can spend all day making that copper pan look photo-realist, with all the little necessary dings and imperfections, but at the end of the day, if we can?t see that big fat Williams and Sonoma name on the handle, it just ain?t real. Same goes for all the produce. That shit comes with stickers. Where was that Mexican lady with bananas on her head? She could have had a song-and-dance number!!!

If only this were the third in the series of Ratatouille films. (Ratatouille: The Turd!) Perhaps then it would have had a chance. The threequel is always the best picture. or the fourth. It’s Movie Law. We simply cannot stop agreeing with you, bad-boy Owen Wilso- whoops! Gleiberman. No celebrity voices = a hot shit sandwich on rye at the movies. And bravo to you, again, for that scintillating turn of spice phrase. You, sir, are as nimble with the written word as a cartoon rat is with cartoon spices in a cartoon movie about a cartoon rat using spices.

$48,000,000? That?s all? This movie could have been big. Why the producers didn’t insist upon hiring the deliciously thick Beyonce Knowles as the voice of a curvy, street-smart, Parisian fem-rat, who dreams of escaping the gutter and becoming a famous singer one day with her own line of swimwear made from garbage by her mother, is beyond us. It’s all about the secondary critter characters! The slinking ally cats, the twin crows on the wire, the nutless squirrel, the French poodle. THE FUCKING FRENCH POODLE!!! WHERE WAS IT?! Bonjour?! Renee Zellweger? We know she can do the accent. Don?t those so-called ?Creatives? over at Pixar know it?s the parents who are taking all these kids to see the movie, and that it?s the parents who want to hear quality, big name, celebrity voices, like those belonging to Woody Allen and Dan Aykroyd, coming out of those cartoon mouths? Creatives? More like Retardives. Cleary, we are cut from the same cloth, Owen Gleiberman.

And you, sir, were kind?leaning more towards noble?enough to bestow this cartoonish cartoon with a letter grade of B. And for that, we, sir, give you, the real celebrity voice here due praise, an A. But not that it matters what we say; we?re nowhere near a red carpet.

• See who voiced which character in Ratatouille.