Remember, oh, two hours ago, when we told you Soledad and Miles O'Brien were being booted from their cushy anchor jobs at American Morning, in a calculated network move that has absolutely nothing to do with the continued success of #1 rated Fox and Friends?

Well, since we know you've been on the edge of your seats, awaiting details of Soledad's (and, to a lesser extent, Miles') future assignments, we figured we'd oblige.

According to the latest reports, replacements Kiran Chetry and John Roberts will making their American Morning (the initials are "AM," get it?) debuts on April 16, at which point Soledad will become anchor and "special" correspondent on CNN's Special Investigations Unit (sounds special!) while Miles will become CNN's new chief "technology and environmental correspondent" (sounds made-up!)

And the new assignments should give Soledad and Miles plenty of time to catch up on all little things they never used to have time for. Like, in Soledad's case, the myriad of early morning programming on Fox!

Sniffs a FOX News insider, "Looks like her suddenly slow workday will now give her the freedom to watch Fox & Friends?..that lack of a workload thing tends to happen when you get banished to the special investigations unit."

Ouch. And in further bad news? CNN president Jon Klein confirms that CNN is still dedicated to provided a morning show packed with hard news. "The more the others get away from it," says Klein, "the more of an opening that leaves us to exploit."

Unfortunately for CNN, however, it would appear having the monopoly on early morning hard news goes hand in hand with a monopoly on last-place ratings.