A friend with whom I used to pass notes consisting only of choice lyrics from Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me" in World History class (I don't know why, but trust me it was hilarious) sent me the following video of "The S---tiest Mix Tape Ever." (Warning: With a title like that, this clip is NSFW. Duh.) A guy walks around Manhattan with a giant boom box blasting five awesomely bad songs. I have dreamt fondly about doing this myself. I'm kind of pissed that he beat me to the punch, because I feel like I'd give the performance a little more oomph... and I might even twirl. He does not twirl.

Which got me thinking... which songs would I put on my own horrible mix tape?

• B*Witched, C'est La Vie
• Amy Grant, "Every Heartbeat"
• Chicago, "You're the inspiration"
• Deep Blue Something, "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
• Rednex, "Cotton Eye Joe" [shudders]

Honorable mention goes to the "Jock Jam Megamix," because not only is it awesome and therefore disqualified, but I already have a dance routine for it. Look for that, coming soon to EW.com video.

Which songs would grace your horrible mix tape?

UPDATE: This week's issue of EW contains an interview with Aqua Teen Hunger Force's Master Shake, in which the grumpy beverage lists his five all-time worst tracks. His picks: Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones," Rod Stewart's "Forever Young," The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself," Crazy Town's "Butterfly," and Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain." No word on which songs Meatwad and Frylock think are wack tracks.

In an exclusive interview, EW.com has learned that indie music labels will join forces to produce a series of compilation CDs similar to the Now That's What I Call Music brand. They'll feature songs from artists like Bloc Party, the Shins, Air, and Cold War Kids and will be aimed at the Target or Wal-mart customer instead of the slightly brooding kid in the hoodie. (Speaking of which, The O.C. totally had this idea first.)

But um, yay for soccer moms and everything, this is kind of a huge f--- you to people who actually bother to seek out cool music themselves. I mean... I'm not even die-hard indie and my initial reaction to this news was that it makes me want to crawl into a sewer. Because then I'd be underground, man... and no one could ever find me. Maybe I just need some time.

Where do you fall on the issue? Would a Now-esque indie compilation strike you as an apt, and frankly quite convenient way to showcase lesser-known artists, or would it make you want to die inside? And what "essential" indie tracks are sure to be on these things?

The champagne ? and the itty bitty appetizers ? flowed freely last night on New York's Lower East Side at a dual party for uber-producer Pharrell Williams (marking his birthday), and Robin Thicke (celebrating his just-certified gold record, The Evolution of Robin Thicke). Bold-faced friends like Diddy, Jay-Z and Thicke's wife, actress Paula Patton (Déjà Vu) gathered at upscale supper club Stanton Social to surprise Thicke, who thought he was only there for the birthday.

"I know you thought you were showing up for me," Williams said as a stunned Thicke stood by, "but everybody here was showing up for you." Later, cornered by EW, he was asked what he had to say about his American Idol guest appearance, scheduled for next Wednesday. "I've never seen the show," he said with a wink, "but I really hope Paula Abdul wins it." Also coincidentally in the house was season 4 castoff Constantine Maroulis, still spinning out his 15 minutes.

Markedly not present: Cristal champagne. Jay-Z continues to boycott the luxury brand, ever since its company director made public remarks disparaging the hip-hop community. Instead, he drank from bottles of Ace of Spades, which reportedly retails for something between $750 and $1,000 ? not too shabby. As Diddy, Pharrell, and the Hova simultaneously popped corks, Chad Hugo (Pharrell's partner in the Neptunes production team and co-conspirator on the Star Traks label, which Thicke is signed to) told EW that he was still in the studio with Ashlee Simpson, and that people would be "amazed" by what they've got so far. "I think she's really gonna surprise people on this. She's been underestimated."

Jay-Z also snuck in a little self-promotion, when his just-released single with Rihanna, "Umbrella," came on the sound system, telling us it would be "the song of the summer. Make sure you write that down!" The party continued long after Thicke led a singalong of "Happy Birthday," adding his own falsetto flourishes. As the night eventually wound down, the big boys ? Diddy, Jay, etc. ? gathered the troops and moved on to another nearby hotspot. And this lowly reporter? She headed home, with a champagne buzz and stomach full of birthday cake.

Which is (or will be) the most blasphemous?

A) Easter Sunday's debut of The Sopranos (Christofuuuuuuuuuh, pictured, wants you to get caught up on all the immorality right here.)

B) Coca-Cola halts production of an Italian movie in which Jesus drinks a can of Coke in the desert. I don't get it... don't Italians love Jesus? And Coke is way more refreshing than holy water. Shouldn't this be a win-win?

C) Helen Mirren's elevator scene in The Long Good Friday. It won't move unless you press the button, you know. So press it.

D) I find all of the above so appalling that I think I'll head over to EW's evergreen Jesus gallery instead.

Let us pray.

I know this write-up is coming to you a day and change late, PopWatchers, but I've been in recovery for the past 24 hours, and I just got released. No need to send flowers, I'm fine, but the results show was such an emotional roller coaster that after it was over I basically walked to Cedars Sinai and checked myself in for observation.

First of all, Corey the Warm Up Comic is no more. Or, rather, it appears he is dancing with the stars full time. So it looks like for now we're stuck with Bill the Warm Up Comic, who at first showed some serious improvement when he pulled up an audience member to deliver a surprisingly credible "Rapper's Delight." Then he had two pre-teen girls do Beyoncé jiggles ? not to mention placing Papa Malakar in the awkward position of "teaching" Mama Sparks how to be an excited fan (as if she doesn't know?!) ? and I lost all faith.

The celebs in attendance were also an odd assortment: Stephanie Edwards, buried waaaaay in the back left; Richard Curtis, director of Love, Actually and main man behind Idol Gives Back; Harvey Weinstein, there with his three daughters (more on why else the one-time indie film tyrant was there in a bit); and two of the Maloof brothers. Random.

But the real drama came after the first ad break, when the stage manager placed the Top Nine in those three groups of three. Once Gina saw in which group she was standing ? neither with Mindy Doo and Jordin, nor with Blake and Sanjaya (let's face it, he's invincible) ? her head dropped right down on Phil's shoulder. My stomach, meanwhile, was in knots, but for a whole different reason. My unconscionably nice colleague, Dave Karger, was sitting next to me Wednesday night, and upon seeing Jordin, Mindy Doo, and Kiki clutching hands, we both immediately thought back to three seasons ago. You know, when it looked like Fantasia, La Toya and J. Hud were in the top three when in fact, they were in the bottom and the future Oscar-winner was sent home. Dave kept repeating, "No, it's gotta be Haley, Gina and Phil, it's gotta be," and I started my slow descent into madness. Even when this season's diva trio were given the reprieve, with Chris (pictured) and Sanjaya already once each spending time in the bottom two tank, well, that long walk Randy took across the stage to reach Blake, Chris, and Sanjaya was a bit too long for my sanity's sake.

During the second ad break, Jordin, Blake, Kiki, and Chris gathered around Gina while Mindy Doo attended to Haley and Phil and Sanjaya just sorta stood around and stared into space. It would appear Blake and Chris had some nervous energy to burn off; when it came time to file back into the benches, I caught them enacting an "After you" "Oh, no, after you" "No, I insist, after you" back-and-forth. (In my head, they did it with British accents.) Then, during the final ad-break ? after Michael Bublé's performance, just as unnerving in person as it played on TV, even though Mindy Doo and Jordin clearly seemed to dig it ? Blake and Chris started freestyling together. From my vantage point, it looked as if Blake was providing the beat-boxing while Chris the "wicky-wicky"s. They went on like this for a good two minutes, at which point Gina, seated directly in front of them, turned around and said what can only guess was a variation on "Can you guys please stop that, I'm kinda a total wreck here with nerves," 'cause the guys did indeed stop right then and there. Chris even knelt down and gave Gina a sweet from-the-back-and-above hug of support.

Alas, Gina was K.O.'d, and as the logo credits rolled after her insanely ironic farewell performance of "Smile," Chris immediately swung around and enveloped her in a giant bear hug. All three judges made their way immediately to Gina to give their words of advice (usually, it's just Simon who goes first while the other judges linger), and soon enough everyone was ushered off stage while the crew set up for a special performance.

Yes, again, the audience was asked to stick around for some music star to pre-tape an Idol performance, so, yet again, stand-in Randy, Paula and Simon's had to be snagged from the audience while superfluous drum kits had to be placed on the Idol stage. At least this time, Cor ? I mean, Bill the WUC turned it into a contest, letting the audience choose which among five guys made for the best Simon. Ryan called out our choice, however, when he showed up to introduce the act and pointed out that the stand-in Simon was the spitting image of Michael Bublé.

Which brings us to why Harvey Weinstein. He was there to introduce Fergie, who has a rare acting role in this weekend's Grindhouse. (Well, to be accurate, since Fergie's Idol performance won't air for another two weeks, it's "the hit movie Grindhouse," according to Harvey, clearly unafraid to look like a fool if his Tarantino-Rodriguez cinematic experiment flops.) It was a good five minutes or so after that introduction was filmed that Fergie showed up on stage, there to learn her choreography from Fatima Robinson, Dreamgirls' choreographer. And by "choreography," I mean, "go here, stand, sing, go here, put your back to the bass player, sing, go here, stand, and sing," and so forth. Not even a four-square in there.

Actually, I wish I could inject more snark about Fergie, but the truth is that when she opened her mouth to sing for the sound check, all other considerations melted away. This woman tore into her song "Big Girls Don't Cry," with a big, clear, emotive voice that blew every single Idol performance this season out of the water. (I even liked it better than the version on her album.) I even turned to Dave Karger and said, "Man, I hope the Top 8 was able to watch this." And that was the sound check. I had to skedat before the actual performance was filmed ? it was such a powerful reminder of what good singing can be that I needed some time to recover, so who knows where my sanity will be when I finally get to see Fergie's actual performance? Actually, one thing is for sure ? it will be no where near the universe of Sanjaya.

Another PopWatch HeadScratcher to get you through the weekend:

What do these five actors have in common?

Glenn Close

Jenna Elfman

Ralph Fiennes

Janet Leigh

Zero Mostel

Your answer should be as specific as possible. Send your best guess to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Be sure to write "HeadScratcher" in the subject line and include your first and last names in your e-mail. We'll post the most interesting responses Monday afternoon.

Pop-rocker Avril Lavigne talking up (or not talking up) her new album on the British TV show Popworld.

Actor-director Crispin Glover gets his kicks from a classic 1987 appearance on Late Night with David Letterman.

Anybody got $149,995 to spare? KITT's up for sale, PopWatchers! And, let me tell you, I've always coveted David Hasselhoff's talking 1982 Pontiac Trans Am from Knight Rider. I remember once convincing my mommy and daddy to take the family to Universal Studios in Hollywood so that I'd get to sit in the souped up car for a few minutes ? they argued that there were better ways for me to spend my 30th birthday, I begged to differ. Anyway, point is: I've gotta have it. The car, apparently one of four that was actually used on camera in the show, has been restored to its Reagan Era glory. And while it may not actually be legal to drive on the street (thanks to emissions standards and, I don't know, that rockin' red light on the hood), I'll be the envy of all the kids on the block. Don'tcha think?

(Okay, in all seriousness, dude! A-hundred-and-fifty-kay for a car that doesn't even drive and wasn't even really that cool when we were five years old? C'mon.)

"I'm gonna out Kevin Costner right now," Dane Cook told PopWatch earlier this week. "He's one of the funniest people I've ever been around." If you're wondering why the standup king has been around Costner, it's because they costar in the June 1 serial-killer thriller Mr. Brooks. Costner (pictured, in character) plays a businessman who murders couples at the urging of his imaginary friend (William Hurt); Cook plays a peeping Tom who coincidentally snaps pictures of the lovebirds at the moment of their demise, then  blackmails Brooks into teaching him the killer craft. While we're still digesting the deliciousness of Costner playing a psychopathic serial killer, Cook is already thinking of Costner's next potential unexpected turn: the comic role he's writing for him.

The film, set up at the Weinstein Company, is called Ex Family. "The basic premise is a guy falls in love with a girl. Her whole family ends up falling in love with him. He gets cold feet, breaks up with the girl, and instead of just her becoming the crazy ex, the whole family makes his life miserable because they all want him back," Cook says. "If Costner will play her father..." Before you play Armchair Agent and tell us whether you think Costner should take Cook up on the offer, hear the comic out.

"[Here's] a story that I love to tell my friends," Cook begins. "The first time I ever felt comfortable enough to bust his balls, we were filming this scene all night in a car with William Hurt. We were talking about conspiracy theories or something and all really gettin' into this conversation, and then suddenly [Costner] brought up the movie The Postman and went on this eight-minute epic story. William and I are just listening for five, six, seven, eight minutes. 'The Postman does this and dadada.' He finally got to the end of the story ? 'And that's why that happened...' ? and I just took a beat and then went, 'When does that come out?' [Laughs] His reaction was like just what you would want. The first thing he said was [shouts] 'You motherf---er!' And then he was just laughing so hard. All night long, he just kept jabbing me: 'I can cut you out of this movie, man.' But he was so cool to accept it, and so funny, that I was like, 'Man, I've always been a fan, but I really want to see you do more like you're doing now... I told him I'd write something with him in mind because he's a funny cat and people need to see it. Now I know how his humor is, so I've got my fingers crossed."

One more thing Cook hopes Costner's future holds: A hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. "I told him, 'It's a crying shame you've never done SNL.' He won't do it. I don't know if it's fear so much as he's like, 'I just don't know if they'll write the right characters.' But on set, he'll act out voices and become different people. 'This guy one time...' He's such a laidback guy, but very, very, very funny."

What do you say, PopWatchers? Assuming the script is better than Rumor Has It..., we're sold.

Last Friday, I got talked into seeing Wild Hogs with my mother and her best friend, and... I laughed my heinie off. Now, considering I just giggled as I typed the word heinie (and then again when I went to dictionary.com to check its spelling), I recognize that my taste isn't exactly infallible. But I do believe that this movie is legitimately funny. And that I should have had more faith in William H. Macy. And that maybe I shouldn't have let 10 years pass between watching Martin Lawrence (pictured) movies.

Assuming you're all still reading (Michael Slezak, you breathing?), here's this week's question: Which movie do you genuinely believe is underrated? We're not talking guilty pleasures.* We already covered those in PopWatch Confessional (Vol. 8). (Special shout-out to my Troop Beverly Hills homies.) We're talking about the sleepers that you think succeeded in their genre but haven't gotten their critical or commercial due. As always, I offer a few to get you thinking:

• Nothing to Lose. Otherwise known as the last Martin Lawrence movie I saw in theaters. My friend and I had an unintentional private screening. Are we the only ones who think Lawrence and Tim Robbins made a great buddy pic?
• One Fine Day. As far as romantic comedies go, this Michelle Pfeiffer/George Clooney one is top notch. Right up there with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman's While You Were Sleeping.
• Speed How did they make a bus thriller work? Almost as surprising? That intense opening mountain scene in Sylvester Stallone's Cliffhanger.

Your turn.

* Yes, "guilty pleasure" is a relative term, but seeing what people don't consider guilty should be half the fun. My friend Tamara pre-nominated Overboard (borderline but acceptable) and Grease 2. Come on, now. While I'd rather watch it than the original, Maxwell Caulfield wears a gold biker suit and sings from the presume dead while standing on the top of a junk pile. GUILTY. My friend Eva, however, went with Final Destination and Josie and the Pussycats (both sanctioned), but thought She's the Man was guilty. NOT GUILTY!