This is some sadness. Coolio was popped for driving on a suspended license in Los Angeles last night. He was originally cited for the same offense in San Bernadino in 2001, so apparently he never got his braids down to the DMV.

Coolio was tooling around in a 96 Hummer. He had just been refused entrance to a club called One Sunset. And get this. He tried to get his $30 back from the parking valet. He was given $10 as a refund. Maybe this is because he knew he was going to be arrested and would require $10,000 in bail money?

That is some sad shit. I remember in my younger days when I was eating Ramen five days a week instead of two and we were up in some club for five minutes that totally sucked and I wanted my damn cover fee back and the guy was like "no, douche." I feel Coolio's pain. "Fantastic Voyage" was such a hot summer jam back in the day.

You know how they did The Wiz as a black version of The Wizard of Oz? In these pics, Coolio looks like the Child Catcher from a black version of Chitty Chitty, Bang Bang. He's skeeving me out.

Photos: WENN

So, there's some dumbass video online of Shia LaBeouf at some party where he and his friend have one of those straight guy penis contests that breeder dudes do when they're drunk and feeling like they have to weigh each other's balls. As I've often said,they should just get naked and work out the subtext.

A drunken Shia refers to his pal as "fag" and "dawg" and tries to goad him into slapping him.

And "dawg?" What the-? Shut the f*ck up, Shia LaBeouf! It's "brah", you idiot! You can't even male bond correctly!

This is the lamest thing I have seen committed to film since the MTV Movie Awards this year. Here's why. I have been to these kinds of parties and J. Harvey has straight guy friends who do this shit. And the friends I have make these dicks look like old ladies having a wheechair fight at bingo. The guys I know PUNCH each other in the face.! What is this SLAP thing? The game is called "Ace Ace Punch In The Face" and it used to be played with cards and whoever drew the ace got a fist in the jaw. Then people merely discarded the aces, and just began getting drunk and hitting each other. That's how it's done. Christ, watch the beginning of Thirteen. Even Evan Rachel Wood knows how it's done and is tougher than you, you dumb bitch.

When I viewed the video of this sad occasion, the gay part of me wanted to rail on Shia for using the word "faggot" when he's slapfighting another man and the straight guy part of me (.35%) wanted to call him a pussy for the very same reason. If you're going to have a biggest dick contest, be a man about it!

Photos: BauerGriffinOnline

More of Shia LaBeouf after the jump.

Here's Lindsay Lohan appearing in a new charity ad campaign for the Visa Swap store in London. She's helping urge people to donate their used clothing to charity. She already donated her bra the program.

Does she ALWAYS have to be looking at the camera like that? I don't get it. What school did these girls go to that told them to literally look like they're in heat when being photographed? She looks like a dick junkie and the photographer's packing. And this is all the time. Just smile and be yourself. Being a slut is great, but show us some different colors. Damn!

Madonna has reportedly been visiting a high-powered divorce attorney. Madge was spotted at the offices of Nicholas Mostyn in London ten days ago. Mostyn handled Paul McCartney's divorce. Wait, didn't Heather Mills make bank on that? She might have hitched her wagon to the wrong star.

Does this mean Madge is over it? That's too bad. Before Guy Ritchie got that permanent befuddled look, he was kind of a hottie. But let's face it. That bitch can't be a joy to live with. All she does is work. Have you ever seen her on vacation? I can't think of anytime I've seen pics of Madonna on vacation. She's got some kind of devil inside her.

And word is that Madge and Guy did not have a prenup? WHAT? Guy probably said that. She made $72 million in the past year along. That's her take for ONE YEAR. And she is not a stupid woman. He'll probably be lucky to leave with the clothes on his back. You know Lourdes is like "you are NOT my father, my father is a personal trainer in Manhattan. YOU are pasty British man who is always suggesting I trim my unibrow so that I will eventually look good for the blokes. I DO NOT like that." I always picture Lourdes as being a really severe child for some reason.

Madonna's people haven't commented, but there's been rumors of tension in her marriage for awhile. Guy reportedly wasn't thrilled by the David Banda adoption hoopla. That bitch better make a good movie soon, or he's going to end up as second unit director on a Miley Cyrus movie and selling his story to the tabs.

Photos: Getty Images

More photos of the happy couple are after the jump.

This is such a disturbing picture. It looks like he's going to take a bite out of her face. Does he know that's a fast-track to getting a nasty case of pink-eye?

Actually, Raffaello Follieri is facing more dire problems than getting pink-eye of the mouth from his girlfriend Anne Hathaway. The 29-year-old Italian "businessman" was arrested in April for bouncing a $250,000 check and now his charity, the Follieri Foundation, is being investigated by the New York State Attorney General's Office.

Hathaway served on the board for the charity-funded vaccine organization until recently. When her rep was questioned by the New York Post about her association with the group, she said, "She was on the board, but is no longer. I don't remember exactly when she ceased to be a board member."

A lawsuit was filed against Follieri earlier this year by billionaire Ron Burkle, who accused him and his Follieri Group of "systematically misappropriating" funds in a multi-million joint venture to redevelop Catholic Church properties.

Umm, the longer Anne takes to break up with his ass, the sketchier she starts to look...

Photos: Getty Images

OMG, I love this picture of Kate Hudson. It's so Farrah Fawcett, using that Liz Taylor White Diamonds lens that makes everything soft and beautiful. Kate got all gussied up for her guest appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien but you can rest assured that she didn't take the opportunity to spill the beans on her romance with Lance Armstrong.

When chatting with Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show on Monday, she told the perky host that discussing her personal life "only causes more problems and more words taken out of context." You know, like we just did right there.

When pressed to discuss the relationship, she summarized her stance by saying, "It's better to let ... people speculate as much as they want to speculate." Ha. As if we need to be encouraged to speculate.

Photos: SplashNewsOnline/PacificCoastNewsOnline

More photos Kate Hudson outside the Late Night with Conan O'Brien are after the jump.

Previously - Denise called a reporter for People a "c*nt" which was phenomenal. She also sat down with Redbook to "set the record straight" (which is a phrase I'm starting to hate as much as "baby bump"). In the interview, she admitted that she's basically a husband-stealing hooker.

Denise's house. She's getting her ass sprayed again. Denise wants her bulbous buttocks to be harder. She's talking about the millions she's made again. Or is this a flashback? Did you know Denise was in Starship Troopers? It's such a bad movie, but I watched it again On Demand recently and I was shocked to see her in it. You can tell she's a conniving cooze, you can almost feel it through the screen. It's actually hard to tell her apart from the marauding killer space insects. Actually, they're slightly less evil.

More Denise, after the jump!

OK, yes, on the surface this is obnoxious because it's Sean Combs being self-congratulatory and clearing up some non-existent rumors that he changed his nickname once again. I had already prepared my annoyed eyeroll, except that it becomes clear that he's doing it in the name of promoting his cause of getting youth to register to vote and I can forgive him for at least having a point.

So, you really don't need to waste your time watching it because it's not all that enthralling. Needless to say, he's right. You should register to vote.

By the way, he admits at the very end that he's changed his name to Sean "Patty Cake" Combs and he's going to add "baker's man" to his laundry list of titles. OK, maybe not. But it's not unprecedented, people.

Lily Allen has returned to the United States to continue work on her second album. The pink-haired singer had some issues with her US visa last summer, following her attack on a paparazzo, but she managed to smuggle herself back into the country. Maybe they didn't recognize her with her new hair color. Now she's in Los Angeles and was seen here, enjoying a meal out with Ronson and Lohan.

As for Lindsay and Samantha, these two lovebirds had a spat over the weekend at Katsuya over dinner. According to a spy in the restaurant, "Lindsay kept ignoring Sam all night long as they ate. Then she [Lindsay] made a huge scene and stormed off." Hmm, I wonder why they could possibly be feuding...

However, it looks like they were back on speaking terms Monday afternoon, when Samantha showed up for an on-set visit at Lindsay's new movie, Labor Pains. That title sounds like it describes what it feels like to be in that relationship of theirs.

Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline

More photos of Lily Allen and Lindsay Lohan leaving Il Sole are after the jump.

Sienna Miller recently opened up about the loss of her friend and Casanova costar Heath Ledger.

"Heath and I had this amazing night out in Venice with my mother. It had been pouring with rain. Heath ran out in the middle of St. Mark's square and we were running around, and I slipped over," Sienna recalled.

"We all ran back to his [apartment] and he gave me these dry pajamas to get home in."

Sienna returned the PJs to Heath when he stayed at her house last November because he was having trouble sleeping and she thought it would help.

After Heath died of "acute intoxication," Sienna really wanted the pajamas back. Heath's father found them and gave them to her.

I would imagine this is something Michelle Williams wouldn't want to hear, but the idea of wearing a guys pajamas does sound rather endearing. There's just something about comfy men's clothes that goes straight to a woman's heart.

Photos: Getty Images