Oh hells no. There's two scenarios here. Any child that Naomi Campbell would bear would either be a moving targets for a flying cell phone or a more psychotic version of her. Someone better court-order some birth control in her arm, STAT. She's saying she thinks having a child would calm her ass down. A lobotomy would be cheaper and there would less lives destroyed!

"Now I can have a child I would like one," she says. "I'm even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready. I know that with a baby I would change, I'd calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

Campbell says she had surgery lately which would enable her to give birth. The opposite procedure should have been performed. I'm not kidding, unstable bitches should not get knocked up!

Photos: WENN

It doesn't look like there were all that many stars out for the premiere of The Incredible Hulk starring Ed Norton. Aside from him and his co-star Liv Tyler, it looks like there was a pretty paltry assortment of faces on the red carpet.

And what is up with the one-shoulder dresses with giant bows? Sorry, but I'm not a fan. As much as I love Alison Sweeney, I'm going to have to pass on that dress of hers. It looks like the Hulk started sewing it, lost his temper partway through and ripped off the bottom half.

Norton, who had been warring with studio executives over the creative vision for the film (which he wrote) said of the final cut, "I haven't actually got to see the finished, finished product." He was probably so over it by then. Meanwhile, my love for Lou Ferrigno has never died.

9 more photos from the Incredible Hulk premiere (Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Jon Favreau, Tim Roth, Lou Ferrigno, Kevin Sorbo, Rachel Fox, Stan Lee, Aimee Garcia) after the jump.

Previously - Ali Lohan's fame desperation almost burned the house down. Dina made the cover of a magazine, and licked various taints at the party for it. The Lohan women retained the services of Producer Jeremy, despite the fact that he totally sold the out to the tabs.

We open on some kind of Lohan neighborhood block party that involves prepubescent girls running around in what looks like bachelor party worker costumes, covering in whipped cream. These Long Island kids are ADVANCED. Ali is hanging with her friends and actually acting her age for once. The happy times are over when some kids taunt Ali for trying to act like Lindsay. If she was acting like Lindsay, she'd be at an organic grocery store right now with Samantha Ronson and wearing leggings. Lindsay's kind of a bore since she went sappho.

More Lohan, after the jump...

I can't believe I'm just now hearing this. Apparently, a rumor spread on the Internet that the High School Musical star was HIV positive and that she had contracted the disease during her nose job operation last year. The gossip prompted Ashley's fans to post tribute videos on YouTube like the one below, supporting their idol.

Since then, her rep has slammed reports, telling People magazine that they are "completely untrue." Reportedly, sites were posting what they claimed was a statement from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles to back-up their claim. However, since then Cedars has also clarified, "We absolutely did not issue a release."

That is some serious Mean Girls shit. Did Ashley cross Paris Hilton unwittingly at some point in her life?

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

Never one to let Jessica Alba steal her thunder, Star magazine is reporting that Tori Spelling has been taken to the Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. for her scheduled C-section. The 90210 actress is "bursting with excitement," according to one insider who clearly did not understand what a disgusting image that quote evokes.

Tori's operation was scheduled to take place at 11 am PT and the 35-year-old actress is accompanied by her husband Dean McDermott, her sometimes estranged mother Candy and her son Liam. This is the second child for the couple, who have been married for two years.

I kind of love this quote: The doctors have told her to just relax in the hours leading up to her surgery, but she can't sit still. She is decorating her room with pink sheets and pink flowers to make sure she welcomes her daughter into a warm environment."

Photos: WENN

Because Amy doesn't have enough problems at the moment, now here's the video footage of her we told you about earlier, in which she and a friend are singing some weirdo racist song. The two are being filmed by Winehouse's now incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil, who assures the girls that he's not filming and was only taking their picture. They all appear to be hanging out in a crack den and it really looks like such a warm and cozy environment.

In response, Amy Winehouse stepped outside her London home to chat with reporters camped outside her home and apologized for her song. Below, there's video of a tiny-voiced Amy chatting with the paparazzi cheerfully about the incident. It's all very heartwarming. She tells them, "I don't want to play anything down, but I'm the least racist person going."

Meanwhile, Blake has pleaded guilty to attacking a pub landlord and then trying to cover it up. That's awfully hard to believe. I mean, he seems like such a stand-up guy.

More photos from Amy Winehouse's racist song and apology after the jump.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

More photos of Ty Pennington at the airport are after the jump.

This is a moment....I can't even speak. These women are divas, feminists, pioneers. Their sparkling repartee and glamorous charisma brought us all through some dark years. They are the Golden Girls and if they taught us anything, they taught us that old people still like to f*ck. God, I don't care if Bea Arthur's face is caving in on itself, she's 80,000 years old and earned the right. She reminds me of Ri-Ri Harvey's mom Claire. Sassy, snarky and ready to snap on a bitch! I miss you, Nana! And I will never forget when you took off out of Lane Bryant with an entire rack of lingerie attached to your Lark and tried to make out like it was an accident. Wink, wink, girl!

Some other hoes showed up for the TV Land Awards but all I see is gold. Well, there were a couple of other gems. Maniac Roseanne was in the hizzy, and Mary-Ann from Gilligan's Island (Dawn Wells) explained her marijuana bust from last October.

"None of it was true," Wells said. "I was weaving on the road and trying to find the (car) heater. (Police) never gave me a breathalyzer test, but they asked to search my car and found three (marijuana) roaches. My friend had been driving my car earlier in the day. He admitted to it all."

She also said that "the story mushroomed, and I lost out on a Girl Scout speaking engagement." Bitch, you were high as a kite on your three hour weed tour. But I think the Girl Scouts of America could use a dose of reality and perhaps having some stoned pigeon old school TV star teaching them how to roll a blunt could be it. It ain't all about the cookies, ladies.

Photos: Getty Images

More photos from the TV Land Awards (Rainn Wilson, Angela Kinsey and Brian Baumgartner, Kathy Griffin, Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Betty White, Sarah Chalke, Henry Winkler) after the jump.

Photos: PacificCoastNews.com

Find out who the mystery rider is after the jump.

I always liked Kevin Spacey. He's one talented bitch (we don't talk about Pay It Forward except the scene where Haley Joel Osment is jumping around and Spacey starts mocking his pro wrestling fandom and you realize that Spacey is actually the gay uncle and not Helen Hunt's boyfriend). But apparently, his talent has gone to his old head, and he's acting the fool.

Spacey is doing press for an HBO movie called Recount and apparently he's rivaling Diddy and Mimi for the huge armada of an entourage that he's traveling with. You know it's about five Chelsea rent boys and a couple of fag hags. Let's be real. Kevin Spacey likes fun.

"He's got bodyguards, several publicists, a makeup artist, a personal hairdresser, someone who's styling him," said a source. "There are so many people, it's ridiculous."

The "bodyguards" were hired via ads that appear at the back of your local alternative weekly. There's usually a shirtless picture of them above the phone number 1-800-PIPE.

Spacey's spokesrentboy says that divas need to be divas.

"A publicist, a groomer and security are there when they do press, just like they are for other stars," Spacey's rep says. The rep mentioned that he had to get off the phone because "Kevin likes us to have an babyoil pose-off contest before our three martini lunch and thong orgy."

Photos: WENN