UPDATE: Just so y'all know, Tila claims it's bogus, stating on her site that, "My whole life I have been judged so that's nothing new to me so I don't feel the need to justify my sexuality to anyone!" Come on guys, she's more than just a sexual being. She's a drink.

So there's a rumor going around that MySpace superstar reality tv goddess Tila Tequila might actually have had a boyfriend all along. This is bad news because her show "Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love" is primarily concerned with finding her a mate - whether it be male or female. Tila is a professed bisexual. I hope this isn't true because I know several strippers that are going to be heartbroken. Tila has a website, so check that out to see if she addresses this. But she's probably too busy presiding over dyke cat fights on her show. Those chicks get right down to the carpet! Er, in other news...my favorite story of the week concerns a 19 year old Kitsap, Washington man who was irritated with Tila Tequila not responding to his e-mail. So he took it out on a cop's face. He also claimed that he was aggravated because the officer "took his nunchaku". The cop wasn't exactly sympathetic to the gentleman's frowny day after being punched so he handed out "several "palm" and "knee strikes" to the guy's "facial area" before Tasering the dumbass. If only Tila had responded, we could have avoided ninja violence in the streets! What kind of backwoods stuck in the 80s hick is still fooling around with ninja weapons? Not one with a girlfriend. Ten bucks he also has throwing stars made out of the lids of soup cans. Tila, what have you inspired?